The Harris Family

Book of Mormon Reading Chart Printable

2012-01-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

I looked a little bit for a FREE Book of Mormon reading chart this morning and didn't find anything I really liked, so I made my own and thought I'd share them with you. The one with a border has faint little chapter numbers. I like it on plain white card stock...it looks crisp and clean. You can get four to a sheet. Happy reading!

Self Explanatory

2012-01-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

Creeeeeeeeepy

2011-12-29T10:49:00.000-08:00

With all the buzz going around about "Elf on the Shelf" this year over on Pinterest and Facebook, I realized that if we'd done that when my boys (especially Ryan) were younger, they would have freeeaked out! ---A doll that comes to life at night and gets into mischief while you sleep! Cute in a Toy Story movie...creepy in your own home! Not to mention it spies on you! I think my boys would have flushed it down the toilet. Or at least tortured it with a magnifying glass or push pins.

But now that he's older, Ryan looooves playing practical jokes and scaring people. For example: when we least expect it, he moves our cardboard cutout of Corey all around the house. Rob screams like a girl every time. (In his defense, it's 6 foot tall, and could be mistaken as a stranger in your house...or at least your son who's out on a 2 year mission and shouldn't be home!)

Ryan knows his dad hates sock monkeys so of course he had to buy one. Well, gee, no wonder Rob is freaked out by them! Apparently they show up when you least expect, and with WEAPONS waiting to scare the crud out of Dad when he goes for a toothpick!

Gratitude

2011-12-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

I heard this a few months ago, meant to ponder it more and then, as we humans do, completely forgot my resolve to do so. But after a lesson about gratitude in Sunday School yesterday, I can't stop thinking about this. So I decided to make up a printable and post it on the blog, mostly so I can be reminded of it. I tell my kids pretty often that if you aren't happy, then you aren't grateful, and then I forget to follow my own advice. This is the wake up call I needed. (FYI - It's cropped to print 8x10.)

Tacky Party

2011-09-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

So, this was a really fun dance idea we found somewhere online. We changed it a little bit though. It called for using wire and instead we strung crochet thread ($3.47 for 1000 yards!) across the gym with the eyelets that were already in the walls. Wire is a bit pricier and if it were to break, we had visions of wire whipping across a bunch of kids and decided we'd rather have string break than wire. (It did not break, however.)

Then, we very tackily (is that a word?) taped up the words "Tacky Party" with masking tape on one wall using toilet paper and threw some TP up on the strings so the kids would know this was part of the decorations and then mounded up 72 rolls of TP in a pyramid on the stage. (Incidentally, I must add that I thought we should call it an "End of Summer Blowout", get it, TP...blowout...but everyone else thought that was tooooo tacky, haha.)

We instructed the DJ to pick a fun song after a lot of the kids were there (about a half hour into the dance) and to tell them they could TP the gym. Oh my goodness, you should have seen it. First of all, I was worried someone was going to get trampled running to the stage but once they got ahold of the TP, it was SO MUCH FUN to watch them toilet paper the gym. They went through 72 rolls in less than a song though.

Not much toilet paper ended up staying up on the strings, they pulled it down and threw it on each other for the rest of the night. The only two things I'd really change is to make sure you have enough chaperones, and don't serve bottled water. We didn't have enough chaperones show up and the kids were a little crazy because there were too few adults in the room. I heard the next day that some people were complaining about people shoving TP down their clothing. We definitely didn't have enough adults if that was happening! :( Also, a few kids were taking the water from the bottled water and wetting the TP. Yuck. At the end of the dance we stood by the doors with trash cans and asked the kids to scoop up a handful on the way out --- and they did! Surprisingly the clean up was quick and we were out of there about 20 minutes after the dance ended. (Oh, to fit with the "tacky" theme, we didn't have tablecloths, we served water and Capri Sun's in buckets of ice on the bare table and just had bags of chips and ice cream cones (Drumsticks) which we also ran out of...hey, it was pretty tacky. ;) Fun, fun. This is one dance theme we'll do again. A WORD OF CAUTION: The dance floor got pretty slippery with all that toilet paper on the ground. Luckily we had no injuries but it could happen.

Dear...

2011-09-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

Dear refrigerator,
Would you please produce something amazing when I open your door?

Dear Summer,
Go away.
(PS - Dear Willis Carrier,
Thank you for air conditioning.)

Dear Bank Account,
Fatten up!

Dear (somebody I must leave unnamed),
Stop being crazy.

Dear Truck Engine,
Why, oh why did you have to die? Don't you know how much I adore you?

Dear Lynn Austin,
Thank you for your simply beautiful, elegant novels. I am devouring them.

Dear Roadshow,
I can't stinkin' wait!

And finally...

Dear Uterus,
Knock it off!
(You too Joint Pain!)

I Can't Think Of A Title For This Boring Blog Post

2011-07-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just stopped to think about what you are paying for certain conveniences? I guess right now I'm on a rant about my cable and cell phone bills. I think I'm paying way too much for way too little.

We have basic cable (half the channels are in Spanish and the other half are crap...wait, that means they're all crap) but we had to get at least a basic package to have "High Speed Internet". And I'll admit that it's better than dial-up but on my five year old laptop, it really doesn't seem so high-speed. But I still shell out $111 bucks a month...mostly so I can have the internet because I don't know what I'd do without online bill pay and emails to my missionaries. (Not in that order.)

And my cell phone bills! We even get a police officer discount of 18% and I'm still complaining. My phone "upgrade" required a data plan. I DO NOT have a smart phone. No, it's definitely a dumb phone. It's barely worth getting on Facebook, if I'm bored, say at a dentist office and usually I bring a book instead. There are no games, no music, it takes poor quality photos and is soooo not worth the required data plan. But I didn't want a smart phone and there are few other phone options out there so we suck up the extra $10 a month. Rob needed a smart phone to check work emails (which he can now see on his work supplied phone that he got a month after we upgraded.) Thankfully his phone itself was a gift from his brother for his birthday. But it obviously requires another $30 a month. Plus all these kids we have on our bill and we're paying almost $200 a month just to stay in touch. We also have a house phone. $40 a month to see which debt collectors are calling for people who don't even live here. Also to avoid United Blood Services average of 15 calls PER WEEK!

When we had two truck payments, including the insurance and the gas we were paying well over $1000 a month for the convenience of driving. I know that looks like a bargain for some of you but it's ridiculous to me. But would I consider giving up my cars? Nope. I don't feel safe enough to walk my kids to school. Plus only one is within walking distance now anyway.

I'm thinking I would MUCH rather spend this money on European vacations and better date nights with my husband. Anybody else think the money we spend on conveniences is getting to be downright ridiculous?

(I would go into a tirade about my summer energy bills, but I realized a few months ago that when we average them out with our low, LOW winter bills, we pay very little for that convenience.) Now, someone please explain that to my mom who refuses to run her air conditioner! (She won't listen to me.)

A Side Of Riley Nobody Has Ever Seen (Or Smelled)

2011-06-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

The INside.

Riley can't smell. We don't exactly know how long this has been going on and we don't exactly know what to do about it. I think she used to be able to smell. I think I can remember asking her how candles or shampoo or perfume smelled. I think she used to be able to smell lemons and BBQ and rain and campfires and cookies baking and jasmine blooms. But I'm not exactly sure.

Finally, when some eucalyptus cough syrup didn't knock her over when I said "Smell this," and shoved it under her nose, I knew it was time to see a doctor. (That stuff was STRONG!!! Same thing with tea tree oil. Anyone ever smelled that? She can't detect anything and that stuff smells like turpentine!)

We went to her regular doctor, who sent us to an ENT, who sent us for some lab work and a CT scan of her sinuses. Our followup was today and, well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. No allergies (darn, I was hoping it was the dog and I could kick him to the curb, hahaha). No inflammatory disease. No sinusitis. No abnormalities in the structure of her nose. Nothing wrong.

Except that SHE CAN'T SMELL.

Some people wouldn't think there is anything wrong with that, it's not like she is blind or that anyone could tell she has "Anosmia". But when the Doctor told her he really didn't know what he could do for her and she was probably just born that way, I could tell she was about to break down into tears.

Can you imagine not knowing if YOU smell? Or if something is on fire?! Or if your house stinks? Or if there is a natural gas leak? And so many of our memories are sensory memories related to smells! Not to mention taste is at least 75% smell. She said she can definitely taste but she is worried she has a diminished sense of taste compared to other people.

If she were suddenly losing her sense of sight or hearing, I think the doctors would be doing more to track down the problem. I'm guessing loss of smell just isn't taken as seriously.

So, for now, we'll hope it's a hormonal thing, or some vitamin deficiency that'll work itself out. I'm looking into whether or not we can get the insurance to cover a second opinion. Meanwhile, you can bet I'll be reading up on everything I can get my hands on related to loss of smell...and trying really hard to remember not to exclaim how great dinner smells since I get a glaring stare down whenever I forget! (Eh, who can blame her, really!)

What Does A SAHM Do All Day???

2011-05-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'm not being defensive. I'm really not.

Okay maybe I am being a liiiiittle defensive.

Ever since I quit working (um, when Ryan was born almost 18 years ago) I feel like all I do is defend my decision to sit around the house all day and do nothing while Rob works his butt off.

Wait...no, that's not right.

I mean, I don't exactly do nothing. I do read books, and bake, and paint, and take naps, and workout with my personal trainer, and get massages, and eat meals that my personal chef prepares for me and...

...Yeah right.

I remember right after I quit working, when I had a newborn, a one-year-old, and a two-year-old, (go ahead and form a mental image of me trying to grocery shop back then...there's your good laugh for the day) those Army wives where we lived would start to visit with me and ask what I do for a living and then when I would reply that I stay home with my kids it was like they had nothing to say to me anymore. Suddenly I was invisible and not worth their time. One literally stopped talking to me mid-sentence and walked away. After awhile I wondered what they thought I would do in the middle of nowhere Louisiana anyway?! I could have worked for royalty...Dairy Queen or Burger King, hahaha. But somehow that didn't seem worth my time away from my boys, or worth the price of daycare!

Over the years I have thought about going back to work or even doing something from home, but I really could not bear to give up the time I spend getting my hair and nails done, or the time I lounge watching soap operas and Oprah, or the time I spend shopping at my favorite boutiques.

Ehem. Can I get a big "yeah right" again?

I am simply amazed by the women who can pull it off. The women who can work and care for kids and care for home and care for husband and somehow still manage to care for self.

I. Am. Not. That. Woman.

I can't do all that. But that doesn't mean I do nothing all day. SO if I don't get you called back right away or I can't take you to do all of your errands or you think it's so insensitive of me to make Rob do all the work...here's a lil' peak into my average week. This is what I accomplished just in this last week:

I had orthodontist appointments, taught at Stake Auxiliary Training (designed a flyer and a handout for that by the way), renewed my Youth Protection certification, fed the missionaries, attended a Ward Talent Show, went to the temple with Tyler twice, made a corsage and boutonniere, took and edited Prom photos and dropped off my son and his date, went to lunch with Rob, went to lunch with a wonderful friend, had a date night with Rob, talked to about 50 teenagers at a Youth Discussion, went Visiting Teaching, took my mom to the mechanic's shop twice, worried and prayed about my brother who had a court/custody hearing and another brother who was in jail, did yard work, gave haircuts, went to a band concert, (missed the swim banquet but hey, I got the swimmer there), in addition to all the other normal stuff like writing my missionary and dance lessons and seminary and school pick-ups and drop-offs and meals and grocery shopping and nightly family scripture study, etc, etc, etc...

And I honestly LOVE my job! I love being a mom! I love being looked down on for "staying at home" all day. I love being my kids confidant, disciplinarian, stalker, friend, sounding board, advisor, counsellor, teacher, and hopefully hero.

But most importantly as a stay-at-home-mom, I know my kids are being taught the values I want them to teach their children and their children's children. Values that make them contributing members of society and just good people generally. Values that help them to know how to care for themselves and how to help others.

This is the real reason I am a SAHM. The other stuff is just fluff...this is my real purpose and I know it:

In a world where values are eroding and family relationships are devalued, I stand for modesty, fidelity, reverence, honesty, hard work, charity and kindness. As a mother, I feel I have a most important role in keeping the filth, chaos, contention, despair, and ungodliness of the world out of my home. I try to raise my children in an environment of peace and love, innocence and safety, faith and courage, hope and joy.

Now where did I leave that box of bon bons? ;)

Discovery

2011-05-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

Last November my sister Holly took a few pictures of Gabby and Riley for her photography class but I completely forgot she gave me the photo CDs until last night. Look at the cute photos I discovered!!!

Well...The Sequel

2011-05-13T09:43:00.000-07:00

I am officially changing Dr. Overworked's name to Dr. Brusque. I thought of going with Dr. Jerk but then that would just make me Patient Childish.

I couldn't even type my follow-up post without putting a few days of space between my initial thoughts and my keyboard. I am, after all, a devout Mormon and a blog post full of swear words would not be very exemplary.

I knew things were going to go badly when it sort of fell out of my mouth that the last time I saw Dr. Brusque, formerly known as Dr. Overworked, for this pain he told me it was only indigestion when in fact there has been a gallstone causing pain all along. Whoops. Blow to his doctorly ego.

He was contradictory and talked over me repeatedly.

He told me a gallstone would be causing me pain under my right rib. I countered with, "NO, it is definitely causing me excruciating pain right under my sternum." He said, "Well that would be pancreatitis and you don't have that, you have indigestion." So I said, "This is NOT indigestion. It is pure agony." Well, I started to say that but he cut me off and said, "LIKE I SAID BEFORE... a gallstone would cause pain here," pointing under his right rib.

So I tried a different approach. I asked him if there was any way he could see the CT images and tell me where the gallstone is located, since a gallstone that has moved and is blocking the pancreas could in very fact be causing what I've described. He agreed that that was possible and IN THE SAME BREATH told me that's not what is happening to me though. I asked again if he can view the images and he said, "NO. The radiologists do that because they have specialized training."

Mind you, all this time I am being as calm and as nice as I can but I realize he isn't going to listen to ANYTHING I say.

I ask, "So it is possible that the gallstone has moved out of my gallbladder?"

He says, "The radiologist's report would have said where that gallstone was."

But it didn't.

I ask him where the report says it is (to prove a point).

He says, (completely ignoring me) "You know, with indigestion you just need to EAT SMALLER MEALS and avoid all those fat, greasy, fried foods."

Well! I think he just called me FAT. Beefy. Fleshy. Heavyset. Portly.

Guess he doesn't realize that prednisone causes weight gain just by THINKING of food. Obviously he just thinks I overeat thus causing my "indigestion". Forgetting the fact that I have mentioned I was on prednisone FOR A YEAR several times just this visit!

(On a side note, since I've gained 75 pounds over three courses of prednisone, I just gotta ask...WHY do all Plus size clothes have a SUPER LARGE hole for your head. My head isn't large, just my body. And also, why do they all look like granny clothes or like someone on speed was in charge of the glitter and jewels and threw them all over the entirety of every shirt I see??? Hmmmm???!!! Hmmmm???!!!)

Aaaaaanyway, at that point in the appointment I resigned myself to the reality that this brusque doctor was going to be right, darnit, no matter the cost, so I just started smiling and thinking about how nice it will be to call my insurance and change primary doctors. Also, how I need to start saving up for a co-pay for a hospital stay since that is the only way I am ever going to get treatment for this gallstone/pancreatitis dilemma. Sigh.

Well

2011-05-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

To clarify, I mean that title "Well" as in well COMMA...DRAMATIC PAUSE followed by a barrage of complaints and criticisms of all medical practitioners in addition to tirades about incompetence and idiocy.

I do not mean the "Well" as in: I'm well.

Sigh. I am so not well today. I'd see a doctor in regards to my mental health but they'd probably screw that up too.

If you thought for one second that you could trust your doctor to care for your health without taking some responsibility for yourself then you are sadly mistaken.

Or living under a rock.

Or both.

(Are rocks cheap? Is that why soooo many people obviously, or obliviously, live under them???)

In the last year I have had approximately 25 pancreatitis attacks. Apparently the prednisone tears up my stomach. I would blame the prednisone wholly but I had 2 of them before I ever started the drug. When I spoke to my rheumatologist, *Dr. T.D. Handsome, (What? I can name him whatever I want!) about this little supposed side effect he said to go to my primary care physician, *Dr. Overworked, about it.

I did.

Dr. Overworked said it was just indigestion.

I pleaded, and even shed tears as I had just had three days of pain and an intense four hour attack the night before my appointment and told him I was SURE it was not indigestion. Indigestion does not feel like your stomach is full of bricks and there's a huge drill bit boring into your abdomen and radiating unrelenting pain through your whole middle, back, and shoulder blades with pain so bad you're too sick to go to the hospital. Pain so bad there is no way to get comfortable. Pain so bad you wish you could command yourself to DIE. Pain so bad it's worse than natural labor. Pain soooo intense I would not wish it on my worst enemies, or my in-laws. (It's a joke, come on!) ;)

No, this was not indigestion...but what did Dr. Overworked say or do after I described this agony? Well, he told me it must be that my prednisone has me all panicked and you know it can cause depression and anxiety.

My cue to shut. up.

He prescribed some crap drug (that made me swell up so badly, so quickly, I had to have my WEDDING RINGS CUT OFF!) and sent me on my way.

I failed to mention Dr. Overworked is a very kind man, he really is, but I was frustrated that he didn't LISTEN. He could have at least sent me over to the lab since a simple blood test would show if my pancreas was out of whack. He actually had me believing that maybe I was being too sensitive because of the prednisone.

So...next time I go to Dr. T.D. Handsome do I mention that Dr. Overworked did nothing and I am still having the attacks? Nope. WHY? Because I knew it wouldn't make a difference, plus he is handsome and that was probably unnerving.

So, finally as I'm off my prednisone and going back for follow up CT scans I get brave enough to ask once more if we can just "take a look" at my pancreas because I'm still having problems. Dr. T.D. Handsome agrees and I, shocked, and thrilled that maybe I've finally proven that I'm not just a hypochondriac and that if I complain that it's because there is a real problem, leave his office elated that I will finally be getting somewhere!!!

I have the test and I check two days later (after another night of what feels like an attack coming on again) to see if by some chance my results are online.

They are.

And as it turns out, there is GREAT news. My fear that my sarcoidosis was causing my pancreas problems was put to rest and instead it turns out my disease appears to actually be in remission, the goal of the prednisone all along, BUT the pancreatitis is being caused by a "large gallstone". WHICH Dr. Overworked COULD have found if he would have listened to me last July when I assured him I knew the difference between AGONY and indigestion!

Awesome.

Supposing Dr. T.D. Handsome would want me to see Dr. Overworked, I scheduled an appointment for a lab followup visit for tomorrow. AND I would have not been going on and on through this tirade IF I hadn't just received a letter about my lab results from Dr. T.D. Handsome which reads, and I quote:

"CT scan shows improvement of previously identified sarcoid lesions."

PERIOD.

Nothing about the large gallstone that was on my CT results.

The gallstone that has obviously been wreaking havoc in my abdomen.

The gallstone that is currently LAUGHING AND MOCKING ME because of my incompetent, albeit handsome and overworked doctors.

If I hadn't been complaining about pain I could see why they'd, perhaps, not mention it, but since we had to justify an abdomen CT scan in addition to my chest CT scan followup by saying I have a history of pancreatitis, you'd think he would want to share those results with me.

SO NOW I have to go back to Dr. Overworked tomorrow, the one who thinks it was indigestion, and try my very best to not STRANGLE him over my irritation with him AND my handsome rheumatologist. I realize my anger or rudeness won't get this gallstone taken care of but it would feel so good to punch a hole in his wall and be forced into anger management classes. Maybe then they'd take me seriously. (Kidding.) (Sort of.)

I like both of my doctors, a lot, and I'm sure they deal with whiny people all day who just want prescription drugs, and they are entirely too overworked and unable to get to know their patients individually, but seriously...I would not have had to go through all this pain if either of them would not have ignored me initially.

Moral of the story, er, barrage: Ask a million questions. Don't take "no" for an answer. Check your lab and test results online whenever possible. And don't ignore symptoms, especially if you are in severe pain, just because you are tired of nobody listening. Somebody will have to listen if you are unrelenting. But finally, YOU know your body better than anyone so listen to it!

Hmmm, did I mention tomorrow might not go so well because I am insistent that I do NOT want to have surgery??? (For various reasons including a previous stroke and allergy to pain medications and also I'd have to go back on my prednisone because of the stress it would cause my body.)

Wish me luck!

Light

2011-05-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? ~Maurice Freehill

"...Come ye, and let us walk in the light of the Lord." Isaiah 2:5

(Photo credit: Riley Harris.)

Curiousity With A Sprinkling Of Defensiveness

2011-05-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

My curiosity was piqued this morning and maybe someone can answer a nagging question for me.

While reading this article about the King James Bible (by the way, this year is its 400th anniversary), 3rd paragraph down, the author is describing some of the reasons why the KJV is not the commonly used bible in America anymore. One reason, he says, is this:

"There have been numerous manuscript discoveries over the past four centuries that are of course not reflected in the KJV."

And I instantly (admittedly defensively) wondered...what is it about the discovery of the Book of Mormon that differs so much from the discoveries of other lost manuscripts that most people won't even consider that it could be scripture? Is it because it wasn't a scientific find from an archaeological dig? Is it because it was discovered in America and not in ancient holy lands? Is it because it was delivered angelically? "...Oh, that was brought about by angels and a prophet, there is no way we can accept that as gospel."

Perhaps that was too aggressive or cynical but I really wonder: What turns a person away from believing that it could have happened?

We have no problems believing that God told Noah to build an ark, or that God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his son, or that Moses parted the Red Sea, yet somehow because those things occurred anciently now we balk at the notion that God could have actually modernly visited a boy in upstate New York and called him to be a prophet and through him, miraculously brought about ancient buried scripture that over and over again testifies of the divinity of Christ.

Maybe I'm too close to the subject matter to ask this question without a bit of defensiveness, but I am curious, nevertheless.

Timely Reminders...

2011-05-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

I just love it when my Heavenly Father gives me some timely reminders that He is in charge and that I need to trust Him more. Last night as we were closing a stake meeting, this first scripture was read aloud, and the second, my scriptures flipped open to while looking up the first. Both scriptures are beautiful and both scriptures are exactly what I needed to ponder today.

D & C 123:17 "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

1 Nephi 18:16 "Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions."

Some Of My Favorite Parts Of General Conference

2011-04-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

These are a few of my favorite parts of the talks from this past weekend's General Conference. They aren't direct quotes, they're just taken from my scribbled notes:

Full-time missionaries - 52, 225 (COREY!!!)
Do I hallow the sabbath, all day?
What can I learn from a child about what matters most in this life?
"Behold your little ones." See, know, love and appreciate them.
"Lovest thou me?" "Follow me."
We made covenants in heaven. (My patriarchal blessing says I did.)
The purpose of pain. To teach humility and to turn me more fully towards God. He sustains and strengthens me through my pain. (I have really learned that this past year or so!)
The most important organization on earth is the family. Nothing is more significant in Heavenly Father's plan than the rearing and raising of children.
"Wake up and do something more."
Turn feelings of sympathy into opportunities to act.
We can't pick and choose commandments, a "cafeteria approach to obedience."
There is great power and protection in establishing celestial traditions in the home, where the spirit can dwell, to combat the false traditions of the world.
Don't be too hard on yourself or too casual about repentance.
Desire dictates priorities, which dictate choices, which dictate actions which leads to who we become.
Small flecks of gold accumulate into a large treasure.
Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.
The only way to see the view, is to make the climb.
At the end of our lives would we rather hear, "Well, you're done," or "Well done."
Be conquerors of tribulation.
Be fully invested in caring for others.
There are two basic patterns to receive revelation, immediately and intensely, like a light switch or subtlety and gradually, like the dawn.
Express gratitude for your spouse.
If we deny chastening, we cannot be sanctified.
I am indebted to the Lord for all my blessings.
We often have "to do" lists but rarely have "to be" lists. We cannot check off our "to be" lists because we will never be done being good spouses, parents, people, etc.
No one is exempt from suffering, but we will be sustained through our suffering.
As we repent, the Savior removes guilt from our souls.
The gospel is built to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable".

I thought it was a wonderful conference and I'm glad I listened for things that would teach me, edify me, and touch my heart. Hope you enjoyed it too!

Dreamscape

2011-04-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." ~Henry Ward Beecher

-Artwork by Riley Harris

That is a hoot, I tell you!

2011-03-30T09:31:00.001-07:00

Wait till you hear this! Gabby is a lucky duck. Apparently she got to dress up as her favorite book character today, Junie B. Jones. Here's the problem...we didn't go too overboard with it (besides the huge hair bow) on account of Gabby's school not actually telling the kids which week they were supposed to be dressing up. Plus also, they sent home a paper but it didn't have any dates. Dumb bunny school. So, speedy quick we threw this outfit together this morning and hoped she wouldn't be the only one who looked all wowie wow wow...and that's all. The end. (PS - That probably didn't make much sense unless you've read the books.)

Amazed

2011-03-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed by the strength God gives me to do things I never thought I could do.

I made it through 7 deployments when my husband was in the military. Every time he left I thought, I don't think I can make it through it this time...but I always did, and I was always changed for the better. I was stronger and more sure that my Father in Heaven not only trusts me to be able to do hard things, but gives me courage along the way.

For example: Giving birth 5 times. That was terrifying and breathtakingly beautiful, all at once.

Sending my son (soon to be sons) on a mission has been an equal challenge. I can't make sense of the dread that came with something I so badly wanted my child to do. We've talked about missions since they were born. We even have an old weathered family chart of school grades, high school graduation years, and missions and have looked forward to each milestone for years. So why was it so hard to say goodbye when we dropped Corey off at the Provo MTC a year ago?

Well, it's the unknown. Will he be cared for? Will he be happy? Who will notice if he is lonely or downtrodden? Who will pick up on the little cues that only a mother knows after a lifetime of watching and loving her son? And it's the selfishness. I am selfish. I admit it. I miss my son. I miss his goofy smiles and dorky antics. I miss him teasing me. I miss driving him to seminary. I miss watching him play football on Friday nights. I miss lecturing him, (haha!) I miss the sound of his voice. I miss his unique laugh. I miss hearing him say "mom".

It's been one year today since I've hugged my son. One year today since I've kissed his cheek. I'm amazed at the strength I have been given to be able to let go of my selfishness and let Corey serve his mission.

I am amazed how quickly this year has passed.

I am amazed at Corey's growth and maturity.

I am amazed by his determination and testimony.

And, I am especially amazed that God let me be his mother.

(Saying goodbye at the MTC.)
One year down...one to go. I can do this. :)

This Kid!

2011-03-13T18:56:00.001-07:00

This kid has been gone a YEAR as of March 24th.

We miss him!

His laughter. His little goofy quirks. His hugs. His smiles. (His shoes all over the floor.)

BUT we're so proud of his decision to serve a mission and know that it's completely worth our sacrifice. :)

(Corey was helping me cook dinner last February and didn't want sauce all over his church clothes since he had more meetings later, so, he put on my apron. AND didn't care that I took a picture!)

"O death, where is thy sting?"

2011-03-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

It's hard to describe with enough reverence what it feels like to be with someone the moment they die.

On February 1st, Rob's great-aunt Diane was taken off life support. We watched as Rob's grandmother said goodbye to her little sister. It was gut wrenching to see her pain. In that moment I thought of my own three younger sisters, and later in the waiting room I sent them texts telling them that I didn't know what I'd do without them, and that I love them. As Aunt Diane died, Rob's Grandma Toni whispered, "she gets to be with mom and dad now." I felt a sweet spirit whisper how true that was. It was a wave of peace to my fragile heart.

At the same time, my own grandmother was in the hospital, awaiting a diagnosis that would end up being cancer.

She declined rapidly and we brought her home so she could be comfortable. My mother cared for her so completely, so tenderly. I only hope my children love me half as much as my mom loves her mother.

Yesterday, my mom and I were holding Grandma's hands as she died. My daughters were in the room with us. We were all silently weeping. Suddenly, sweetly, a peace washed over us. A quiet. A calm. I looked up at my mom and said, "Can you feel that?" For a brief moment, the spirit testified to us that there is no sting in death. Life continues after this mortal existence. I know my grandmother, who's mother died when she was just 17, had a happy reunion with her family. Her sister Helen had died four years ago to the day.

While enduring the pain and loneliness of death, and throughout the expression of love through mourning, it is essential to remember that life is so much more than this frail, mortal existence.

"Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. “This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” (Alma 12:24.) But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. (See 2 Cor. 6:9.) As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven." -Elder Russell M. Nelson

So, farewell sweet Grandma, and know that I look forward to the day when we are reunited.

(Grandma at her surprise 85th birthday party on 10 Feb 2010.)

(Grandma as a teenager.)

Ruth Ellouise Snyder Foster
10 Feb 1925 - 12 Mar 2011

No, I Don't Have All The Answers

2011-03-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

I don't have all the answers, but I sure wish I did.

Every day Gabby complains of headaches and stomach aches before we walk out the door to school and every day I want to cry for her because I know it's because she is being picked on.

This group of girls who's sole goal is to be popular and tear down anyone and everyone around them has been picking on her since kindergarten. She mostly ignores it, but it does get old.

She tries so hard to make friends but usually it turns out someone was pretending to be nice to her, only to take her treats at lunch or to turn around and throw her jacket on the ground and point and laugh. They tell everyone she is gross or that she smells or that she doesn't brush her teeth. Untrue, but nonetheless, to a second-grader, it feels like the end of the world when the whole class points and laughs at little old you. They make fun of her clothes, her shoes, her red hair and her glasses. One boy constantly pushes her desk over or pokes her with pencils. Her teacher does her best to stop the bullying, but the kids keep it up.

Gabby does have one sweet friend, but she's a grade younger than her and so she is mostly alone at school. It is torture for someone as sociable as Gabby.

None of my other children ever went through anything remotely like this. They all just flew under the radar, not too liked, not too unliked. Of course Tyler was always in Ty-land but it was his choice and he did have a few friends. I don't even remember him really being picked on. Probably because his big brother Corey would have beat people up for him if it ever came to that.

We talk about ignoring mean people. We talk about being nice to everyone. We talk about how to stand up for yourself with dignity. We talk about how it doesn't matter what people at school think because her family and her Heavenly Father love her forever and ever.

I'm so proud of how she puts on a brave face as she hops out of my truck and pinkie promises me she will choose to have a good day.

But I still cry for her.

Video Of Tyler Opening His Mission Call

2011-03-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

Tyler has been called to serve in the SLOVENIA CROATIA MISSION, Croatian speaking, and will report to the Provo MTC on 6 July 2011. None of our friend's and family's guesses were anywhere NEAR Slovenia Croatia. We're very excited for him and proud of him!!! (Of course cardboard Corey attended the opening. And I suppose it's a new tradition, Tyler is wearing the shirt Corey wore when he got his mission call.)

(It's pretty funny to hear our family wonder in the background where in the world that mission is located...and no it isn't in Russia, LOL. Time for a geography lesson, hahaha. I'm proud to say Rob and I knew exactly where it was since Rob lived in Rijeka, Croatia for a few months back in 1998 when he was in the Army.)

Do My Entertainment Choices Really Matter?

2011-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

(^_^)

2011-02-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

One of our sons averages about 40 text messages a month. He used a whopping 4 minutes of airtime last month...um, the other one used about 5000 texts and lots of minutes.

Gabby commandeered an old phone with a broken hinge. She thinks it works and sends "text messages" to people. This is what she "sent" to me this morning when she should have been eating breakfast and getting ready for school. Good thing she isn't old enough for a phone. I have a bad feeling she would out-text us all!

Bullies...And How to Beat Them

2011-02-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

So, what do you do when you just KNOW some dorky second grader boy who always picks on your daughter is going to make fun of her Valentine's cards she worked so hard on and loves so much???

You have a super cool Daddy beat him to the punch and doodle a mustache and glasses on her picture before the bully boy can do it so she isn't shocked when it happens. Sigh, poor tender hearts on Valentine's Day. She said she is going to ignore any meanies in her class. Good for her. I hope it turns out okay!

SNOW!!!

2010-12-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

It almost never snows here in the valley but up in the mountains just outside of Vegas there is lots of SNOW!!! We had a GREAT afternoon playing with the kids. (Neither of the girls knew what Rob was about to do. So funny!)

2010 In A Nutshell (Kinda)

2010-12-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

I know "in a nutshell" means brief but this is as condensed as I can get it. This year has been HUGE for our family and it seems like I have barely found the time or energy to blog about any of it so here's the quick-ish rundown of 2010.

Before Corey left for his mission, he was able to squeeze in a quick snowboarding trip with friends.

Dropping him off at the MTC was the hardest right thing we've ever done!

There are some great photos of Corey and Rob but I still can't look at them without bawling like a baby so I didn't post them.

In the hotel room just before we left to drop him off, we all snuck notes midway into his journal for Corey, er, Elder Harris, to find later.

Right after Corey left I finally went to the doctor to figure out once and for all why I was in so much pain. I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis in May. It's been a rough year being on prednisone but it's also been a full year. I've learned a lot, grown a lot (hmmmm, I meant that emotionally and spiritually but I guess that would apply physically as well, lol), and recognized that my blessings FAR outweigh my burdens!

Tyler graduated high school with honors. And after 5 1/2 months of searching he was finally able to get a job. I think he really loves the independence that comes with working. He's currently in the process of submitting his mission papers. (Just waiting for a physical...)

This summer we had Stake Girls Camp. Since I am a counselor in our Stake Young Womens program I got to volunteer Rob to come up to Deerhaven, UT and help out.

I think he was having too much fun...here he is with friends in tu-tu's!!!

Ryan suddenly grew up...and up...and up. He's within an inch of catching Corey (who is about 6' 3.5"). This is Ryan's senior year of high school.

Rob and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary by going to see The Phantom of the Opera! It was amazing!

Riley started middle school and also turned 12 and advanced from the Primary to the Young Women's group at church. (Confidence is not an issue for her. She just proofed this and said since I had included her a couple of times, this post was perfect! Ha ha ha!)

To celebrate Gabby's 8th birthday, we went to one of her favorite places, The Adventuredome!

We talked her into going on a few big roller coasters, she wasn't very happy about it though.

Great shot of Riley on the merry-go-round.

Gabby was baptized on my mom's 60th birthday, that's just the way it turned out, so we got to have a joint celebration. Gabby fasted for the first time the day after her baptism. Before church she said, "When the sacrament bread comes around I'm taking TWO pieces!" Ha, I had to tell her it wasn't a buffet, but that was soooo cute! She also got up and bore her testimony. (Every first Sunday of the month in our church we go without breakfast and lunch, called fasting, and donate the money we would have spent for people in need.)

I know, my mom looks AMAZING for 60! Didn't my sister do a fabulous job on the cake?!

Rob turned the big 4-0 a couple of days later.

And all of his boys are taller than him so for his birthday he jumped at the chance when his mom offered to get him some BOOTS! (AKA man-heels.) HA HA HA HA! Plus, I'm pretty sure he is pushing down on Ryan's and Tyler's shoulders here. ;)

Riley had her first band concert and plays the saxophone just like her big brother Corey.

Ryan, Riley and Tyler participated in our stake's Youth Choir. It was a BEAUTIFUL Christmas performance! And Riley, who has always really really hated singing and who we forced to participate, really enjoyed herself and even said she wishes the youth choir was all year long and not just at Christmastime. Wow.

Corey is TALL. So tall that when he lays out on the couch, even though we have a ginormous sectional, there is rarely room for anyone else. Guess we were feeling nostalgic Christmas morning, the kids put his cardboard cut-out across the couch.

We all agree, missionary phone calls are really THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!!!

(Playing "Just Dance 2" with cardboard Corey.)

That's our BIG year in a BIG nutshell. Hope yours has been just as wonderful!

Is It Just Me?...

2010-12-10T06:29:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or does anyone else dislike those questionnaires that teachers send home before Parent Conferences? I really don't know how to answer the questions. Does her teacher want the truth???

For example: My child is most interested in ______________________.

Well, MOST interested??? I know I should write something like, "My child is most interested in quantum physics" or, "the Pythagorean theorem", but really my child is MOST interested in socializing, drawing butterflies and princesses and talking about whether or not her frenemies are popular that day and which boy swiped her fruit snacks from her lunch. Because REALLY if my second grader had her way, attending school would NOT be on her To Do list.

How about this one: My child does well in _____________________.

Ummmm, daydreaming? Wrong answer, uh, okay...color coordinating her outfits. No? Oooohhh, school related, okay I can do this...(let me find her report card...oh lookie there, 100% in geography)...My child does well in geography! Ta-da! Actually she does really well in going to the school nurse. Is that a subject? Not only is she super accident prone, she is also a mini hypochondriac. I started threatening surgery everytime she says her head or her tummy hurts, all 20 times a day. It's working...but still I think the school nurse and her are BFF's.

Here's my very favorite question: I would like to discuss ________________.

Everything.

I would like to discuss everything. I want answers. Like WHY does what worked for my other four kids NOT. WORK. AT. ALL. for this child? How do I get her to sit. still. for. one. minute. and pay attention?!

Oh, who are we kidding here? I'd like to cross out all the questions and write something like:

My child is the sweetest, most thoughtful, most loving, most adorable, huggiest,
kindest AIRHEAD I have ever known. She's energetic and loud. She's creative and
hilarious. She is struggling with most of her schoolwork, and even though she's
meeting (most) standards, it's all uphill for her (and me). She can focus, she
just refuses to. She's more concerned about how everyone is feeling than about
how much stuff needs to be accomplished. I love her infinitely. I support her. I
understand her. And I'll push her harder. But even though she's a slow bloomer,
I'm confident she'll catch up one day.

Well, I've been staring at this questionnarie for half an hour and only have one question answered. I wonder where she gets her lack of focus from???

Move Over Vogue Models

2010-12-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

About a month ago Riley had her first ever Young Women in Excellence night. She was asked to learn about a woman from the scriptures and then do a Personal Progress value experience that related and then the girls were going to be able to dress up like that woman and have their pictures taken by my amazing friend Sara Cecil. Riley chose Sariah from the Book of Mormon. All the girls (who finished their projects) had their photos blown up huge and displayed around the room. It was really lovely!

Sara was kind enough to email me Riley's photo.

Then I had fun playing with some editing features and making it look old, (yada yada).

My sister, Holly, is taking a photography class and needed some subjects for a natural light project and so she asked if Riley and Gabby would be her models. Man, do Rob and I make gorgeous kids or what?! (The photographer did pretty great too don't cha think?!)

Infirmary/Asylum Log: Day 6

2010-11-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

The patients have grown restless.

They are turning on each other.

Yesterday we endured an utter state of lawlessness as they screeched, shrieked, and tortured each other relentlessly. My hold on sanity is clearly strained. The shut-ins were beginning to project their frustration onto their caregiver. I suppose I don't blame them for their dissatisfaction, however, the expression "don't bite the hand that feeds you" does come to mind.

The older female patient seems to have recovered as of this morning. One can only hope and pray her normally pleasant nature will return quickly as well.

The youngest patient refuses to take her meds. I will admit I have to go to drastic measures. Sometimes I falsely threaten to transport her to a medical facility for painful and unpleasant surgery in order to force her to comply. She chugs the thick, syrupy elixir like it's a fiery tequila shot, and chases it with tears and a tantrum. Alas, the medication eventually takes effect and while she is ~~passed out~~ resting, we all enjoy a few short moments of felicity. But when she awakes the fevered delirium returns. I try to keep her well fed but she insists on illegally transferring her comestibles to the hairy, four-legged resident of the infirmary.

At 4 AM she had a screaming fit to rival the talent of any horror movie star. I bolted straightway out of bed and expected to discover an axe murderer, but upon entering her room I realized it was just a maneuver to vex me yet again. In response, I required her to ingest more pharmaceuticals. The remainder of the night passed without incident.

The general outdoor conditions are too blustery for an excursion, as she is beginning to show signs of an ear infection. I do think her beastly demeanor would be most improved if she could just get some sunlight.

The older male residents show no signs of infection and have thus been able to ~~abscond~~ ~~escape~~ sneak away to places like the theater and work. I try to hide my jealousy but it is beyond the bounds of possibility as my hysteria is surfacing. I fear we will never be freed from this madhouse! I'm all out of clever distraction techniques. Rations are low. Fatigue is high. Someone, please...save us!!!

[Okay, I'm just kidding!!! I'm poking fun and we're doing fine trying to help Gabby recover from this blasted, lingering flu, poor thing, but I do hope she is able to go to school tomorrow. She missed four days last week and was even sick on her birthday! The fever is gone this morning. We've stayed home from church just to make sure we don't spread germs but she seems to be FINALLY on the mend. Yay!]

Have A Spooktacular Halloween!

2010-10-31T07:56:00.001-07:00

All the little goblins at the Harris household: an injured vet, an anti-princess, a Chinese princess, and a chick-magnet.

We also received an unexpected email with a few pictures of Corey from the Ronald McDonald House in New Jersey where our Elder Harris is currently serving his mission. He and his companion were doing some community service handing out candy this week.

Have a happy and safe Halloween!

"Cheep" Costume

2010-10-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

So what does a 17 year old dress up as when going to an LDS church Halloween dance? A "chick" magnet. LOL. Nice Ryan! (Did I mention totally cheep, er, cheap? My kinda costume!)

(Fabulous {slightly tweaked} idea courtesy of my friend Lisa Fantauzzi.)

Equilibrium

2010-10-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

"Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness."
~Helen Keller

(photo credit: Wim Vandenbussche)

Day at the Lake

2010-09-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

Rob's old partner has been trying to take the girls and Rob out on the lake all summer. With Rob working graveyard and then making detective, his schedule never really matched up with Eric's to be able to go until today. The girls have been looking forward to it alllllll week and had a lot of fun! Gabby even got to drive the boat. She told me, "Sorry mommy, I couldn't look while Riley was taking pictures because I had to look where I was driving." Well, phew! They all came home excited and talking about going again. And those good girls even put sun screen on all day so they aren't even burned...wish I could say the same about Rob. He looks like a raccoon/lobster hybrid!

Have the Courage —

2010-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go.

To right the unrightable wrong,
To love, pure and chaste from afar,
To try, when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star!

(from Man of La Mancha)

Oh Yeah!

2010-09-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

Rob and I have been cracking jokes all week about these Facebook reminders that it was almost our anniversary. Like we'd wake up that morning and say "OH YEAH! GOOD THING Facebook reminded me or I would have completely FORGOTTEN it was my 20th wedding anniversary!!!!" (Ryan mentioned this morning that he's pretty sure it's mostly a feature for husbands. Too funny.)

Maybe other people can forget their anniversaries but it's kinda hard for us on accounta Rob and I got married on my birthday. It really was the best birthday present ever! I joke with people that I don't like having to get him a gift on my birthday but secretly I love it!

Happy 20th Anniversary sweetheart!!!
(And thank you Facebook for reminding us, phew.)

Engagement Photos

2010-09-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

I got some really great engagement shots of my baby sister Ali and her fiancé Jeremy on Saturday out at the dry lake bed. I know, my sisters are all gorgeous right?! I wish I were so photogenic!

You're So Vain

2010-08-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

You're so vain....I'll bet you think this [post] is about you. Don't you? Don't you?!

Nope. It's about ME ME ME!

Okay, so, I found out I'm vain. (You already knew that, huh?)

Surprisingly vain. See, I was all, mid-thirties and totally content. I was happy with my life. I was comfortable in my skin, flaws and all. I found myself beautiful. Not the fake Hollywood beautiful but the real world, I earned those stretch mark scars and so what if my teeth are crooked "I'M REAL" and I know who I am so I don't really care what you think of me, kind of beautiful.

I called it confidence, not vanity. But now... I'm surprised how much I think about my looks and I can't believe how tied to my identity my looks have apparently been all along. Wow, so vain!

I REALLY thought I was less shallow. I believed I thought I more about character, and personality, and worth and value. When it comes to other people I still think I do, but when it comes to myself, I guess I hold ME to a different standard.

See, I don't think I look like me AT ALL anymore, (and if you say I do I might be offended and never ever talk to you again because I don't like what I see in the mirror nowadays!) I am shocked when I see my reflection. I don't even see me in there. This crappy medicine has changed my face and body so much I don't think my own son would recognize me if he came home from his mission today. Oh, did I mention my hair has started falling out? *tears* I know probably NOBODY but me would notice the difference BUT STILL PEOPLE!!! As if feeling like my face is as round as a bowling ball isn't enough. As if having worse skin than my teenagers isn't enough! As if being heavier now than with any of my pregnancies isn't enough! NOW MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT TOO!? And then there are all the other symptoms like the numbness and tingling, trouble sleeping, heartburn, high blood pressure, muscle twitching and cramping and weakness, metallic taste, confusion, blood sugar crashes, pancreatitis attacks, fatigue, etc, etc, and most frustratingly what I like to call Mental Mud. Like my mind is mucky and muddy and mushy. Not sharp and witty and ingenious and humorous and clever. (I SWEAR I used to be intelligent and fun.) *sigh* My definition of ME is changing.

I kind of wish I could hang a sign around my neck whenever I had to buck up the courage to go be around other people (strangers even). Or maybe if I could have a flashing billboard above my head explaining the disease, the medication effects, and maybe a fantastic picture of what I REALLY look like and not what I look like now. Yes, that would be great.

But back to the vanity issue. What if this were permanent? Would I be okay with that? Would I learn to deal with it? Would I be able to find peace with it? What about people who were the world's definition of normal who have been in horrifying accidents, who's skin is burned or who lose limbs, or who are confined to wheelchairs, etc. People who, no matter what now, will be subjected to the looks and stares and questions and judgments of others strictly because of their appearance. How do they learn to deal with that?

I was talking to a wonderful friend about this a few months ago. Since I've been ill, I can't do NEAR as much as I used to be able to do and I was telling her I was glad I learned to say NO to people years ago or else I'd have a serious guilt complex to go along with everything else I am beating myself up over not being able to keep up with. We talked about what makes someone worth something? She asked me if I thought I was any more important to God than a quadriplegic. Well, no, of course not. And can that person really do anything? Contribute to society? Okay, so why should my worth be tied to the things I can't do? It should be only tied to the things I can do. So, if I CAN'T run around taking care of my kids and my extended family and my friends and my church obligations like I used to be able to do, THAT'S OKAY!!! As long as I do the best I CAN do, that's all that God uses to define my worth! And while we are on the subject, I'd like to know why people use the word "invalid" to describe a sickly person. Did you know one of the definitions is "worthless"? I don't like it!

Another interesting word is "discouraged". That word is a mountain I have to summit daily. Gah! I'm getting tired of feeling that way.

I'm not looking for sympathy! Or pep talks to buoy me up! I'm doing okay, mostly. But really, it would be easier on my reclusive personality and my vanity if I could just go into hiding for a couple of months!

To top it off, what if I'm going through this medication crap for nothing? What if I DON'T go into remission? What then?

(On a positive note, at my last appointment my labs were in the normal ranges again instead of off the charts unmeasurable like before. Now, the trick is to taper off of the prednisone sloooowly so I don't go back into a flare. Most days I still feel like I've been trampled by a pack mule, but I'm hoping that MONTHS FROM NOW when I'm finally free of the prednisone monster, and hopefully the sarcoidosis monster too, I will one day look and feel like me again. Could I have that in writing? A guarantee? Please.)

Oh and does anyone have any wigs I could borrow? While we're at it, maybe a muʻumuʻu. Or a big brown paper bag? ;)

We Let Our Kids Jump Off Mountains

2010-08-16T06:05:00.001-07:00

We went up to Redrock on Saturday so Gabby could rappel for the first time.

Our family rule is that you have to be at least seven years old to rappel. We could tell she was a little bit nervous but she has seen us do it so many times and she trusts her daddy so she went right over the side with no hesitation.

Plus her big brothers were there helping her.

Riley is becoming a pro.

Of course the small jump (about 40 feet) gets boring after awhile so the big kids go up to the 130-ish foot jump. The climb up is the scariest part (trust me). Rob likes to go Aussie style, face first running down the mountain.

Ryan gave Aussie style a try on the big jump and liked it too.

Tyler prefers traditional rappelling.

Riley decided she wanted to try the big jump this time. She did SO well!

Some perspective on how high that cliff is...

It was a great morning!!!

Come Christmastime...

2010-08-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

...she just may have those two front teeth growing in again. She wasn't happy about it, but within a matter of minutes (and with a few tears) Gabby lost her two front teeth today. Finally. They have been loose FOREVER. She talks soooo cuuuuute now! (If only Corey were here to take her for his tooth-losing 7-11 Slurpee run tradition.)

Flashback Friday

2010-08-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

Rob had to put together a presentation about rappelling for an Instructor Development class this week and we dug up this old video that a friend put together for us after a family rappel trip a few years back. Well, quite a few years back...Gabby was still a toddler. (About February 2004)

What A Man!

2010-08-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

Do you see that boy in the background there (who doesn't know I took this picture)?

He loves me.

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." ~Zelda Fitzgerald

I woke up to the sweetest note on my laptop that he thought I wouldn't find until after he left for work this morning. What a man! Our 20th wedding anniversary is a month away and I love him more and More and MORE!

For some crazy reason he loves me too. Even though I now look like the new face of ~~Revlon~~, ...er, The Michelin Tire Company...move over Bibendum. (That's the Michelin Man's name, in case ya didn't know.) The irony of my name being Michelle and feeling/looking like the MICHELin man has not escaped me, by the way.

Sadly, with all this prednisone swelling I had to go see a firefighter friend and have my wedding rings cut off last Thursday. I can't believe I had forgotten to take them off! Rob never liked my rings anyway. He always wanted to get me something nicer but I wouldn't even think of it. (I don't fit the "girl" mode. Jewelry and flowers and shopping do nothing for me. But love notes...ah, there's where he makes me all twitterpated.)

PS...He made detective. I'm very proud of him!

Depth

2010-07-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hold On

2010-07-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

Like Being Pregnant

2010-07-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I used to LOVE being pregnant! (Pictured here is me almost 9 months pregnant with Ryan, July 1993. Did I mention he ended up being three weeks late and was nearly 10 pounds!?) When I was pregnant with my boys, besides being tired the first few months, I really never felt better. Being pregnant with my girls was harder. Riley's pregnancy was the first time I experienced morning sickness. Gabby's pregnancy...well that was a whole other experience.

I realized early this morning, that being on prednisone is kinda like being pregnant. Only I'm not pregnant! You can't sleep because you're uncomfortable, getting up all night to go to the bathroom, packing on the pounds where people can't tell if you're pregnant or just overweight, you have heartburn, a swollen face, you're overheated, and EATING FOR TRIPLETS, (and Rob said I can't forget the mood swings, lol)...ya, not as easy to go through when you're not getting an adorable baby out of the deal!!!

Add to those side effects the symptoms of the disease itself and wow it's no wonder I always feel cruddy. Anyway, I was on a sarcoidosis site last night and stumbled onto some sarc funnies that I had to share.

"SupercalifragilisticexpiSARCOIDOSIS If you’ve ever heard of it, you know its quite atrocious!"

"Sarcoidosis: Imagine having the flu…every day of your life."

"I have SARCOIDOSIS. Ask me what’s messed up today!
(100 little check boxes with symptoms)"

"I’m SARCASTIC! Another Fantastic Gal with Sarcoidosis."

And this one had me laughing so hard.

"I was diagnosed with SARCOIDOSIS and all I got was this lousy bottle of Prednisone."

Well, at least I can enjoy a joke or two about it. :) And I kinda miss the days when I just couldn't sleep because the baby had been kicking all night.

"A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles." ~Mignon McLaughlin

An Endurance Evaluation

2010-07-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

As a Stake Young Women Presidency at girl's camp (at Deer Haven, UT) for the final night's program, we talked about courage to wrap up the week's theme of "Be Courageous, It's A Jungle Out There." Specifically we were inspired by and spoke about this quote: "Moral courage may be defined as the willpower to follow what one believes to be right, regardless of cost to one's self, and irrespective of the disapproval of others. It is greatly tested in three situations:
In the face of temptation,
Under social pressures,
Over the long pull."

My segment of the night's program was "Over the long pull."

Deer Haven is one of my favorite places on earth. Not because it is anything spectacular or breathtakingly beautiful, but because to me it is a sacred place. A little bit of heaven on earth. A refuge. A place filled with wonderful happy memories. A place forever unmarred and unspoiled.

It's the place my testimony was born.

About twenty-five years ago I was a first year camper at Deer Haven. I ran through the meadow, explored lava rock fields, huddled by the campfire, hiked hills, sang rounds and repeat-after-me's, laughed furiously, formed friendships, and was taught and loved by my Young Women leaders. We always went to Deer Haven for girl's camp and I was happy we did.

One summer night laying in the meadow with a few friends, we stared at the silhouettes of the mountains and the trees and gazed at the thousands of stars in the huge clear sky. I was overwhelmed by the majesty of it. One friend mentioned feeling like an insignificant, tiny speck floating around on this blob of earth through a huge universe. I can still recall the feelings I had in my heart as a small voice immediately whispered to me that I was not insignificant, but that I was a daughter of God, created by Him and loved by Him, and that I was not left alone on this earth.

I cannot tell you how many times, over the long pull of these last twenty-five years, that that specific memory has come to mind as I have endured hard things. Deployments, relationship trials, discouragement, despair, loneliness, frustration, etc, and especially lately, health difficulties. I've learned over the long pull, that murmuring gets me nowhere and that my attitude is crucial to the outcome of an adversity. My motto through this disease, Sarcoidosis, has been, "Why not me?" And it has helped to think of it in those terms. But as the disease marches on, as the effects wear on me, as the Prednisone chews me up and spits me out, the "over the long pull" part of this particular trial is currently taxing and imminently daunting. I have to admit I haven't been feeling so courageous.

I was reading in Psalms this morning, all the passages about putting our trust in the Lord, and it occurred to me that even though I keep saying that if this is what God wants me to go through so I can be closer to Him, I can do it, right now I am merely enduring!!! {and not well I might add.} And I am certainly not getting any closer to Him in the process. In fact, I believe the opposite has been happening as I have been relying on Him even less and getting bogged down in suffering and complaining even more. I've been trying to have a good attitude, but that isn't enough. Miraculously coming out of this a better person isn't going to just happen to me in this particular instance. I need to seek it out. I've been lazy and I know it. I'm not sure exactly what needs to change, but something does and I'm glad for the realization. I've been mentally evaluating it all day and the introspection will continue in the days ahead, I'm sure.

I learned something today that I don't think would have been as significant to me if I had heard it yesterday. It's not just that I need to be taught something, it's that I need to understand something I am being taught. It's not just the lesson...it's what I do with the understanding I glean from the lesson. Being taught and actually understanding, are not exactly equivalent.

That's genuinely profound.

How do I/we find the courage to go forward, step by step, even when the journey is all uphill, the burden is heavy and the end is nowhere in sight? How do we find the courage to be everything we have been called to be and not give in, give up, or give out? And how do we find understanding during the process? The key is remembering we are not left alone.

D&C 24:8 "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."

D&C 122:4 "...thy God shall stand by thee forever and ever."

Joshua 1:9 "...Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

No matter what we are called upon to endure, if we will turn to our Heavenly Father, he will strengthen us. He will give us everything we need to be able to endure well. These earthly trials, though at times harrowing, are temporal and temporary. It is possible to feel happiness on the bleakest of dark nights, if we remember that the sun will eventually come out again at dawn and warm our weary souls.

I feel the dawning of understanding. I hope I do more than endure. I hope I enjoy, even through the trial. I am seeking peace. I am seeking healing. Healing in my soul would do me more good than even being physically healed. My blessings are truly much, much greater than my trials. My endurance evaluation was a welcome assessment I'm glad I was open enough this morning to receive. I plan on making a few changes.

Remember this, uttered by the Savior even as he was about to be betrayed: John 16:33 "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

*Art credit: Happiness Is Planted, Jenni Adkins Horne.*

The Secret of Liberty

2010-07-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

“Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty.” ~Louis D. Brandeis

Eye-dentity Crisis (and a Flashback)

2010-06-28T15:49:00.001-07:00

Two people in one week asked me when my eyes started turning green. I told both of them they were crazy. My sister finally made me get a mirror and stand by a window so I could see the greenish rim. Hmmmm. Never noticed that before. When I was younger I always thought my eyes were dark brown. Then as I got older I did think they had lightened...to a solid root beer brown color. Now, at first I thought, "Holy cow could it be the Prednisone is causing iris depigmentation?" But, no...I looked through old digital photos today, back 5 years in fact, and my eyes have been the same. Just, nobody noticed, not even me, until very recently. Kinda cool. But now what color are my eyes???

And as I was looking through older photos, I found these, of Rob and Corey and I, back in March of 1991 when Corey was a month old and we went on a quick trip to San Diego. He sure did grow up fast!

Handywork

2010-06-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork." ~Psalms 19:1

(We thoroughly enjoyed this morning, poolside, watching the clouds streak by.)

The Deepening

2010-06-12T03:41:00.000-07:00

look forward to the deepening
the spreading
the finding
the being

settle well

feel the humming
of the soul
the light
the peace
the knowing

be comfortable
be you
be teachable
grow
deep in the soul
grow

let life bloom
with age
be undiminished
be true
be real

push down
enlarge
deepen

~Michelle Harris

It's Graduation Day!!!

2010-06-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

Miss Incredible

2010-06-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

Quoting The Incredibles movie:

Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

...Well if someone is genuinely exceptional they give her the Principal's Award!!! Only one fifth grade boy and girl in the school receive it and Riley was the young lady they chose. She raked in a bunch of other awards too, including the President's Education Award and the "A" Honor Roll Award. We think she's pretty incredible! Now, on to middle school. (*Gasp!*)

(PS-I suppose when you have a sister with blue eyes that we ALL envy, you wonder what you'd look like with blue eyes too. -Incredible.)

Hope

2010-05-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

"If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Upstaged

2010-05-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night we attended Tyler's last high school orchestra performance. (Can you believe he graduates in 10 DAYS?!) He plays the violin beautifully! I recorded a quick video clip during the last performance so you could see two things...one, Tyler playing his violin and two...well, remember that post about being self-aware? Just watch.

Ahem, Excuse Me

2010-05-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hi there, just one moment of your time...

Corey has a mission blog.

(Well, I have started a mission blog for Corey, but that's beside the point.)

So if you want his current mailing address or if you're interested in reading tidbits from his emails or seeing his photos...click on over. There is a button in the upper left area of this blog OR you can just click here.

If You Aren't Going To Listen In Church...

2010-05-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Gabby,

Since you are only 7 years old and it was a two hour meeting, then I suppose if you aren't going to listen in church, copying scriptures instead is a really really good alternate activity to keep you entertained.

Love Mommy

(Seriously how cute?! Now shame on mommy for taking out her cellphone in church to snap a picture.)

Why Not Me?

2010-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

The day before Corey entered the MTC, his mission president posted a story about a missionary with some health problems (a health related bloggy happenstance? I think not...) who ended up having to return home before he could complete his mission. At the airport the missionary asked, "Why me?" President Murray suggested instead maybe he should be asking, "Why not me?"

Going through some challenging health problems the last few years and especially months has made me acutely aware of my responsibility (to myself) to have a good attitude through my difficulties and to change my outlook from "Why me?" to "Why not me?" I'm trying to make it my new motto, but that takes (a lot of) faith. "Why not me" could open the door to so many categories of trials. Trials I'm not sure I'd really want to volunteer for.

In the past I've tried not to take for granted my good health. I have truly mourned when I saw others suffering through debilitating or life-threatening illnesses. But until you grow weak, you cannot realize how strong you really were. Until you are in pain, you cannot realize how blessed you have been to be previously comfortable. Until you feel genuine fear, you cannot know how wonderful it was to be unconcerned.

The closer I come to a definitive diagnosis, the more some things in the past make sense. Gabby's pregnancy problems including my stroke, preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome all fit now. Other health problems, from joint pain to not being able to breathe, to uterine symptoms are all starting to make sense now too. And it's nice to know it's not all in my head! My symptoms and lab tests all point to RA and Sarcoidosis. I go back to the Rheumy doc in a few weeks for the final results of my blood work and chest x-rays. It may just be one or the other autoimmune disease, but either way they are both treated with pretty much the same method.

Right now I'm on Predisone, and prescription strength Naproxen when needed. We have a love/hate relationship, Prednisone and I. It took me 5 days to actually make myself start taking it, because I know the side effects. But it's short term, low dose, and I really can't complain about the pain if I don't do anything about it. If I start looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, you know why. At least I won't be whining about the fire inside all of my joints. And I won't be curled up in a ball praying for an escape. But I will be able to unscrew a milk jug lid and push a shopping cart and turn my steering wheel without wincing and I will be able to write a letter and lift a pot of pasta and WALK normally, hallelujah!

I don't want you to think I feel sorry for myself, or that I think my disease(s) compares with some others that are life-threatening. But I can't help but wonder if my disease is LIFE threatening. Do you know what I mean? What will my life look like now? Will there be limitations? How much damage is already done? (Could the pain actually get worse? Oh please say no.) I'm finding myself readjusting my idea of my future. Dreams and adventures once all plotted out are now smoldering in the scrap heap. My expectations for my future are fluid not fixed now.

And I think that's okay. "Why not me?" Others go through so much more. So really, why shouldn't I have the faith to say, "If this is what God wants for me to bring me closer to knowing Him, then why not me?!"

(Just be kind when you have to remind me of this on my bad days.)
{PS - I'm almost apprehensive about clicking Publish Post, as if the very act of doing so will invite more trials of faith to test my new-found motto...}

Triumph

2010-05-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; 'Tis dearness only that gives everything its value." ~Thomas Paine

It's so true that we don't value as highly the things that come easily to us. And in most cases, our growth and ability to be self-reliant are stunted. Take, for example, the "Fable of the Gullible Gull". It was printed in the Reader's Digest in October 1950 and was retold in a Conference talk by Marion G. Romney in October 1982. It's worth repeating today.

A section from Elder Romney's talk (to which I give a hearty "Amen!"):

I clipped the following article from the Reader’s Digest some time ago. It reads:

“In our friendly neighbor city of St. Augustine great flocks of sea gulls are starving amid plenty. Fishing is still good, but the gulls don’t know how to fish. For generations they have depended on the shrimp fleet to toss them scraps from the nets. Now the fleet has moved. …

“The shrimpers had created a Welfare State for the … sea gulls. The big birds never bothered to learn how to fish for themselves and they never taught their children to fish. Instead they led their little ones to the shrimp nets.

“Now the sea gulls, the fine free birds that almost symbolize liberty itself, are starving to death because they gave in to the ‘something for nothing’ lure! They sacrificed their independence for a handout.

“A lot of people are like that, too. They see nothing wrong in picking delectable scraps from the tax nets of the U.S. Government’s ‘shrimp fleet.’ But what will happen when the Government runs out of goods? What about our children of generations to come?

“Let’s not be gullible gulls. We … must preserve our talents of self-sufficiency, our genius for creating things for ourselves, our sense of thrift and our true love of independence.”

The practice of coveting and receiving unearned benefits has now become so fixed in our society that even men of wealth, possessing the means to produce more wealth, are expecting the government to guarantee them a profit. Elections often turn on what the candidates promise to do for voters from government funds. This practice, if universally accepted and implemented in any society, will make slaves of its citizens.

Governments are not the only guilty parties. We fear many parents are making “gullible gulls” out of their children with their permissiveness and their doling out of family resources. In fact, the actions of parents in this area can be more devastating than any government program.

We know there are some who, for reasons beyond their control, cannot become self-reliant. President Henry D. Moyle had these people in mind when he said:

“This great principle does not deny to the needy nor to the poor the assistance they should have. The wholly incapacitated, the aged, the sickly are cared for with all tenderness, but every able-bodied person is enjoined to do his utmost for himself to avoid dependence, if his own efforts can make such a course possible; to look upon adversity as temporary; to combine his faith in his own ability with honest toil. …

“We believe [that] seldom [do circumstances arise in which] men of rigorous faith, genuine courage, and unfaltering determination, with the love of independence burning in their hearts, and pride in their own accomplishments, cannot surmount the obstacles that lie in their paths.”

Home: The Last Sanctuary

2010-05-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

"To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife." ~Spencer W. Kimball

(photo credit, unknown)

"I ♥ You Mommy So Much Forever"

2010-05-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

(I ♥ you too, Gabby dear.)

Dear Harris Children,
I am so blessed to have each of you in my life. Every day you teach me more about love than I ever imagined possible. Thank you for giving me this gift of motherhood. You are my treasures. You are my heroes. You are my life. You are my mission. I love you! Forever.
-Mom

Two For One: A Sweet Testimony, and Becoming Self-Aware

2010-05-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

A two-for-one post about Gabby:

In our family scripture study we are currently reading the chapters in the Book of Mormon in third Nephi when the Savior visits the Nephite and Lamanite people in America. Sunday afternoon I thought it would be good for Gabby especially if we watched the Seminary Book of Mormon video, "My Joy Is Full". It's a short video, about 4 minutes. I was watching, engrossed in my thoughts of how the people could hardly tear their eyes from the Saviors face, not paying Gabby any mind, when she astonishedly asked, "Mommy, why am I crying? This is making me happy and I love Jesus, so why am I crying?" We discussed that she was feeling the Holy Ghost telling her what we have been reading is true. It was so sweet as she intently watched the rest of the video and then told me, "I know it's true, Mommy. I believe in Jesus."

I've been watching Gabby here and there lately and pondering the question: When did we become so self-aware? At what age? When do we start caring what other people think of us? When do we stop belting out songs when we're happy or wearing mismatched socks? When do we stop telling stories? When do we stop feeling like every drawn picture is a showpiece? When do we stop dancing because someone might see us? When do we stop asking questions because someone might think it's dumb? When do we start limiting our creativity because we've become self-conscious?! (And for that matter, when do we stop sharing our testimonies because we are worried about offending others?)

It's so sad to me. Yet, I do the same thing all the time. Even with my blog. I have many other talented writerly friends who could word something so much more eloquently or gracefully than I and sometimes I don't write an experience because I think it'll be dull to someone else...but since when did that matter? I started my blog to keep a mini family history of sorts because my kids love it. Not to gain readers or generate comments. (Those are nice though.)

Being self-aware has it's positives, exempli gratia: being accountable for our actions. But don't you agree that sometimes we let it limit us too much? Imagine all the people who could discover their talents if they would try to paint or write poetry or compose musical masterpieces, etc, etc, etc. If only we weren't so afraid of failure!...failure by some other person's standard! So what if I write and never finish a book? So what if I draw and sketch and paint and never sell a single piece of it? So what if I play the piano but never master Chopin or Beethoven? So what if my photography doesn't fit all the rules? So what if I never bake "the best" bread? Isn't it the trying and the doing that make these creative experiences worth it? Not the glossy packaged final product.

I asked Rob about it this afternoon, and he said, "Well, obviously we become self-aware somewhere between the ages of 7 and 11." (Sadly, he's right, Gabby is seven and Riley is eleven and what a difference between the two in this area.)

What can we do to be less self-conscious? How can we overcome this? What are your thoughts? (Alright now, don't be SHY!)

A Funny May Day Quote

2010-05-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of "May Day!"?"

(And don't you love my tulips...ah, I love Spring!)

Six Word Memoirs

2010-04-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

"A mother's love: immeasurable, immense, infinite." ~ Me

Comment with your Six Word Memoir on why moms matter!

For more about Six Word Memoirs click the logo below.

Becoming

2010-04-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

"Our task is to become our best selves. One of God's greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final."

~Thomas S. Monson

Pain

2010-04-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

"Pain is the great teacher
of mankind.
Beneath its breath
souls develop."
~Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

New Family Photos

2010-04-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

My talented, crafty, construction-wise, photographer friend Sara (seriously she is awesome and can do anything...did I mention she's gorgeous and hilarious too?! -Love her!) and I grabbed our cameras and together we scored some pretty fabulous family pictures the Sunday before Corey left. With the way our boys missions stagger out...it could be almost five years before we're all together again. Do you realize that means Corey could be home and married before we can take more family pictures of all of us together again. Whoa!

Missing

2010-04-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

My heart has rooms
for each loved one
I visit frequently.
I place my memories
on spacious shelves
displayed for only me.

A room for God
a room for my husband
a room for each precious child.
A look of joy
a sweet embrace
the first time each one smiled.

One room avoided
walked around
the door blew open today.
I stepped inside
emotions raw
and walked paths of yesterday.

What I would give
if I could just
go back a moment to
the days I held
my firstborn son
so little and so new.

How I would stare
and memorize
each darling little feat.
I'd take more time
to play and smile
not worry about tidy and neat.

I'd hold more hands
kiss more chubby cheeks
and say I love you more.
I'd grab each moment
as if my last
hold tight, envelop, adore.

And as he grew
I'd plead with God
to give me a little more time.
Prolong my days
with little babes
in motherhood sublime.

Today he's grown
and far away
my soul feels the absence complete.
Though I'm proud
of his right course
the feeling's bittersweet.

Today his room
is echoing
the emptiness of my soul.
I'm missing him
my little one
my memories alone won't console.

PS - I know I stink at poetry but I was hoping for something that sounded better than "I miss Corey...WAAAAAAAA!!!!"
PPSS - Happy 18th Birthday to my second oldest, Tyler. How you've grown sweet boy. How you've grown!

Opposite Scripture

2010-04-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Back to Alex Boyé...

During his most awesome, amazing, incredible fireside, he shared a scripture...with a twist.

He talked about the power of good music and the power of not good music. Then he read D&C 25:12 --

For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.

Then he asked for some words that were opposites. What's the opposite of delighteth? Hateth. What's the opposite of righteous? Unrighteous. The opposite of me? Well, who was the 'me' that was speaking? The Savior, so the opposite would be Satan. And what is the opposite of blessing? Curse. Now plug the opposites into that same scripture:

For my soul hateth...the song of the heart; yea the song of the unrighteous is a prayer unto Satan, and it shall be answered with a cursing upon their heads.

You could hear a collective "whoa" as we all sat there stunned. If we are listening to unrighteous music (which just means not good music) then we are praying to Satan. I know. It's heavy. But, whoa!

In an article I read about Alex Boyé he said if youth are feeling depressed he has them write down the lyrics to the songs they listen to. They are stunned. Try it...you may be too.

For more on my experiences with good music, click here.

A Little Thing

2010-04-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a small thing happen, just a little thing really, but something that hits so close to home that it can't be a mere coincidence? Maybe something that happened months ago that seemed like nothing all of a sudden zooms into focus and is, for a moment, BIG. When the end finally plays out, flashes of memories, conversations, thoughts, all come crashing back in an instant and you know, I mean KNOW, that THAT was the plan all along and you are the one who just finally caught up.

I have a calling in my church that allows me to work with youth. Part of that calling involves helping to plan what's called a Youth Conference once a year for all the youth in our stake. As a member of that committee I was asked to help our co-chairs come up with a theme early on in the planning process. Back in October we met and discussed several themes. We decided on the theme "Calling All Youth". We all liked it and met frequently, trying to plan topics that would help the youth know they have been given a noble calling to make a difference in the world.

In one planning meeting in January, when for a few weeks we could tell the planning process was stalling out, we discussed challenges the youth face. As the youth went around the table, their problems and concerns spilled out. They worried about friends and worried about their futures. They sincerely worried about their ability to be successful and good in an unholy world. Tears rolled down my face as I listened to them. Here is a list of the concerns we compiled in a few short minutes:

Overwhelmed and stressed (Can't get all the good things done)
Worried about future (College, job, mission, etc...)
Pressures of life
Remaining virtuous and pure (It's so accepted that immorality is OK)
Feeling alone (Even though there are others trying to keep the same standards)
Being ashamed of church membership (Do we represent our church well)
Feeling unloved
Many are falling away (Too many give up)
Feeling inadequate (Being judged by others)
Economic situations at home

I thought about it all day. Later that afternoon our home teachers came over and delivered the message "Hold on a Little Longer," by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. That phrase, "Hold On" stuck to my mind. I thought about the youth and the words "Hold On" all week. As we continued to plan in committee meetings, we decided to incorporate ways the youth could either overcome or learn to better get through these problems and others that they face. I felt prompted that our original theme of "Calling All Youth" was not right. Finally I shared my concerns. We all discussed it. I said I kept thinking the words "Hold On" needed to be incorporated into the theme somehow. We finally all decided that we liked the theme "Be Strong - Hold On". (By the way, Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage..." is the mutual theme for the year 2010.)

That was back in February. I didn't know why exactly the theme needed to change. We probably could have addressed the youth's concerns through the original theme. But I'm glad we changed it. And I'll tell you why...

It wasn't just because youth conference with the new theme was awesome. It wasn't just because we really felt we were able to address these concerns and give the youth good strategies to cope. It wasn't just because we were able to remind them that Heavenly Father has given them tools and equipment to keep them safe. I liked the change because of a split second understanding that hit me in our closing fireside last night.

Our guest speaker was the talented speaker and musician Alex Boyé. He is a soloist for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He is also the former lead singer in a British boy band.

He was living with an uncle at 16 years old when he joined the church. Three weeks later he was homeless and living in a rusted out white van. Cold, hungry and scared, and feeling hopeless, he turned to his scriptures for comfort. He wondered how, if he knew joining the church was the right thing, how this could be happening as a result of his membership. He opened the scriptures and found three particular scriptures that helped see him through this terrible time and kept him from abandoning his faith. This one is the one that sparked my realization:

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9 Therefore HOLD ON thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

He said when he heard our theme was Be Strong - Hold On, he said "No way! No way!!!" He was crying as he pulled off the "Be Strong - Hold On" wristband we had given to him and held it high as he read that scripture. Then I knew why the theme had to change. It was all part of a larger plan that I had no knowledge of. But my Heavenly Father knew. A prompting was followed. A tender mercy was recognized. And my testimony was strengthened in the process.

More on Alex Boyé and a scripture about music in my next post...

Sssssseriously???!!!

2010-04-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

I was across town this morning and stopped into a Walmart that had been recently renovated and was thinking how much nicer it looks, wide aisles, easy to find things, CLEAN. Until I went down this aisle. Are you kidding me? Talk about the most genius, sinister marketing ploy ever. Candy and cereal on the same aisle!!! I feel sorry for moms with little kids. Mine have (finally) learned I'm too mean to give in but when they were little I loathed the candy aisle. The onslaught is bad enough at the check-stand. (...Ya, not that I'm saying that half of those cereals are any kinda healthy, ya know.)

Extra Cellphone, Extra Rileys

2010-04-05T09:07:00.001-07:00

Well now that Corey is on his mission but his cellphone is still under contract, Riley has a new phone. Not that she needs it. Maybe at middle school next year but not in elementary school. But since we're hardly paying anything for it we decided to go ahead and let her have a phone earlier than our normal family rules would allow. Within a week she has discovered features on it I'm sure Corey didn't know about. For example...it takes panoramic photos. She and Ryan enjoyed goofing around with the feature yesterday at my Mom's house. She even moved between shots and was duplicated in the photos. Now, if they can get the timing right, maybe next time she won't be missing limbs. :) If you look really closely you can see a slight ghost image of her in the first chair...guess she moved too soon.

Easter In Eggs

2010-04-03T22:26:00.000-07:00

For instructions on how to do Easter in Eggs, click here.

Today Is The Day One Will Fly

2010-03-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

The morning sun flows in through leaves as I rest
Here in my safe little comfortable nest
My little birds gathered all safe and close by
Knowing today is the day one will fly
My thoughts are troubled and heavy this morn
Who will care for and love my firstborn
Him I have loved, prayed for and wept
Rejoiced over, cared for, taught and kept
Today as he flies and takes journeys afar
With faith I know he will be guarded from harm
His bright wings will open
Now stronger and wide
He'll step to the edge and God will provide
For He loves His little birds just as I do
And holds this mama bird's small fragile heart...
As off her first little bird flew.

The Solution

2010-03-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

— Our life problems often come down to two things: Either we need to repent or we need to forgive.

(A thought from our Stake President, Mike Dayley, in church yesterday that has been percolating. Clicking on the art will take you to Cori Dantini's etsy shop . No, I don't know the artist but it's funky and cool, and I think fitting.)

My New Favorite Holidays

2010-03-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

I already know my new favorite holidays are going to be Mother's day and Christmas. Up until this year neither of them have been high on my list of days I love. Not that the kids and Rob don't try...they do, I'm just usually cranky those days. While updating the calendar the other day I realized Mother's Day will be the first time we get to talk to Corey after he leaves for his mission, and it doesn't seem so far away either! Yay for the internet and emails so we can stay up-to-date while he's out on his mission. And YAY for twice a year phone calls home! You better bet the only cranky times I'll have on those days for the next few years will be if someone else hogs my phone time! ;)

Think Like A Tree

2010-03-03T06:07:00.000-08:00

(Poem by Karen I. Shragg)

How To Smack Yourself In The Forehead While Saying "Why Didn't I Think Of That?"!

2010-03-02T13:56:00.001-08:00

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Read this post over at Pressed Down and Shaken Together.

2. Wonder how you have never in your life thought of something so very clever.

3. Raise your hand and smack it against your forehead like this:

4. Go and straighten all those crooked pictures in your hallway or living room.

Prosperity

2010-02-22T14:50:00.000-08:00

"This is the law of prosperity: When apparent adversity comes, be not cast down by it, but make the best of it, and always look forward for better things, for conditions more prosperous." ~Ralph Waldo Trine

My Favorite Way To Spend A Lazy Afternoon (And Other Lies)

2010-02-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

My favorite way to spend a lazy afternoon is to visit our neighborhood ~~Quick~~ Slow Care Clinic with Gabby to mend a broken arm. (Lie. Although, in trying to see the silver lining, it does beat sending Bubba out for a half-day's ride three towns over to fetch the "Doc" to splint it.)

~~Quick~~ Slow Care takes such pride in it's establishment and is so very, very clean. (Lie. Lie, lie, lie. Five-year-olds could clean that place better and it's supposed to be a medical facility. The dust caked in the corners. The smell. I was afraid to look at the floors. Or touch anything. Did I mention the smell? The fire sprinklers were so filthy I don't think they would operate properly in the case of a fire. And it smells.)

They cater to such fine clientele. (Lie. I was there so obviously that's a lie. On a side note...why do my kids always wait to get sick or hurt after my pediatrician's office is closed or on a holiday or weekend?)

~~Quick~~ Slow Care efficiently and speedily provide triage service to the crowded waiting room. (Lie. True story: Once I went there (weekend) with Gabby when she was two and having asthma attacks. We waited for hours in the waiting room. She was lethargic and coughing and vomiting because she couldn't catch her breath. Finally when we got to the back and her pulse ox measured 71 we had to be rushed by ambulance to the main hospital ER. She was apparently in no danger for hours in the waiting room but suddenly it was dire.)

I was very, very cranky* the entire time we were there. Even though they were quicker than normal and our nurse, Doctor and radiologist were super, super nice. (Not a lie and I feel kinda bad about it now. I just really hate that place. People bring their whole families to wait with them, like big, loud fiestas in the waiting room, only without the salsa. And most of the parents let their kids run amok while they talk too loudly and crudely on their cellphones.)

Gabby handled this broken arm much better than the last one. And she's a goober. (No lie. She broke it in nearly the same spot as last time. A supracondylar fracture of the left elbow. Last time she was jumping off a table. This time she was climbing up on the counter to reach the cereal cupboard (even though I told her no cereal after school) and when she started to slip backwards she made the mistake of grabbing a box of cereal instead of the cupboard frame to steady herself. She told me she wishes she had listened to the 'no cereal for snacks' rule now.)

*I feel really bad complaining about a broken arm that will heal quickly when a church friend's two-year-old had a terrible accident yesterday that almost completely severed her sciatic nerve when a piece of glass cut open her buttock down to the tail bone. (Obviously not a lie. I do feel rotten for complaining and being so grumpy about having to take Gabby to ~~Quick~~ Slow Care again! I feel so bad for this little girl! And her momma! It's so hard on us mommies when our babies get hurt and we have to watch them suffer. This sweet little girl, Kalia, is probably in for a lifetime of pain and/or burning through the nerve. Please, please keep her in your prayers.)

The Nicest Thing

2010-02-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

Terresa at The Chocolate Chip Waffle asked: What is the nicest thing anyone has done for you? Rather than hog her comment space (as I usually *longwindedly* do) I thought I'd post about it here.

We were living in Germany. I was having a miscarriage, except my body refused to let the fetus go, a "missed miscarriage", so I was admitted to the hospital. They couldn't find where the baby had been and feared an ectopic pregnancy. The doctors there call miscarriages "abortions". I don't know if it just translates that way from German to English, but they kept repeating that I really needed to have an "abortion". Then they did the worst thing possible, and left it up to me. If I didn't choose to have the surgery then, I would probably be back in a week or two, in pain and with possible infections. Oh, they had no idea how much I wanted this baby! I kept hoping they were wrong. That there was a heartbeat and maybe they just couldn't find it. That it would be a medical miracle. A testimony of prayer. I had all night, alone in a cold foreign hospital room to make my decision.

I had patiently waited four years to get my husband on board to try for another baby. This felt like my final chance to try to have a girl. Waves of emotion washed over me as I saw my dreams of having another child, maybe even a daughter, crumble all around me.

Even though I had to undergo a laparoscopy and of course lost the baby, I still witnessed a miracle.

My sweet friend and visiting teacher left her six small children at home and rushed to visit with me as I wrestled with, not only losing maybe my last shot at having another baby, but with the word "abortion". The doctors had left it up to me to choose to have an "abortion".

Somehow she reverently mentioned that as soon as she heard, she had begun a fast for me. I was so shocked! We weren't lifelong friends. We were just two women who went to church together for the last year and who were neighbors. I think simply because of proximity in the large city of Stuttgart in the only English speaking ward there, she had been assigned to be my visiting teacher. She didn't owe me this act of compassion. But she paused her busy life and ran to me in my time of need. I can't express the love I felt from her that she would not only pray for me but sacrifice food and drink for a day on my behalf. Her offering emulated the tender and sincere nature of service so profoundly. It was so simple and yet so significant. It really was the nicest thing.

She helped me hold my pain and it didn't seem so heavy after all. The miracle of it was, her act was what helped my grieving heart to heal more quickly than even my body did.

(Sadly, someone very close to me just quietly experienced a missed miscarriage and equally sadly, as I struggled with my inability to take away her grief it did not even occur to me to fast for her. A thousand apologies dear friend...)

Per'son•al'i•ty

2010-02-04T09:22:00.000-08:00

Last night, Rob was working on the laptop at the kitchen table and I was working on a project for my Grandma's 85th birthday at the table too. Riley sat down with the Table Topics game we have and started asking us questions from the cards. This one was my favorite:

Riley: "Daddy, what do you most worry about?"
(before Rob could reply...)
Riley: "Well, losing me, of course! Next question."

words Words WORDS

2010-01-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

"If you had to eat your words, would they make you sick?"

Light Within

2010-01-22T08:27:00.000-08:00

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." ~Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

My Cup Runneth Over

2010-01-04T23:06:00.001-08:00

No matter what trials are thrown our way, (broken heaters, dryer, dishwasher, the new television billowing smoke on Christmas morning, Corey losing his job, etc...) we have been blessed beyond measure. We've really been feeling grateful lately. No matter what has gone wrong, we've had a way to be okay through the trial, and in some very unexpected ways! Some generous friends gave Corey a large sum of money for his mission at Christmas and then tonight, our doorbell rang and this jar of money was sitting at our doorstep. Anonymously. Sweetly. We are so grateful for the sacrifice of this family to help Corey to pay for his mission. To me, it doesn't even matter how much is in the jar, the most touching part is the note which reads, "Mission fund. Many helping hands worked a year to fill this." Wow. Someone thought about Corey for a year. They prayed for him. They saved for him. They loved him. We are too blessed. I don't know how to express my thanks. It can't be done with words. My heart is running over with emotions at the blessings my family receives. Thank you, sweet anonymous givers. From the bottom of this mother's heart, thank you.

Vegas Style

2009-12-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

When the stomach flu rips through the whole family and ruins plans for a family trip to get out of Vegas, the next best thing to do is celebrate getting over it, Vegas style. And by Vegas style I mean taking the kids to the CASINOS!

Yes, the casinos...for bowling, and ice skating and movies. First the bowling alley where Gabby and Riley had their first REAL (non-Wii) bowling game. They did pretty well and actually had a lot of fun. Tyler bowled the first strike of the day and Gabby learned she likes Wii bowling better, since she usually beats everyone. Her rolls were so funny, we'd all stand there, waiting, and waiting for the ball to hit the pins. One time we heard crickets chirping.

Next we went to a different casino to go ice skating. At first they were a little nervous and hugged the sides.

After falling, Gabby was not liking it too much, but daddy made it better.

Until Corey almost wiped out with her attached and then she was unhappy again. Eventually she just took care of herself and had a really fun day. It was the first thing she asked to go do the next morning. Riley looks like she's about to de-pants Corey here.

My brother Shawn and my nephews Jared and Jeffrey skated circles around everyone else.

After a few hours, Ryan had fallen one too many times and had some nasty blisters so he joined me in my position as the official coat rack and photographer. (My ankles we hurting too badly to join them skating.) Tyler waved "hi" in every photo. It didn't take too long for Corey to let go of the sides either.

I'm really hoping they clean the glass often. Guess I shouldn't have been encouraging these photos then! These pictures reminded me of this picture in the bottom right corner, Gabby in Aug 08 when she flipped out in the wind tunnel at a childrens museum. The kids were even up for a movie after ice skating (at yet another casino). I thought for sure they'd sleep through it, but they didn't. Anyway, despite our trip to Salt Lake getting canceled, we made some fun memories and had a really great day.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

2009-12-25T00:31:00.001-08:00

Corey's Going To Serve In The...

2009-12-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

...Pennsylvania Philadelphia Mission.

He reports on Wednesday, March 24, 2010 and it's an English speaking mission.

I can't believe Corey guessed exactly where he'd be going a month ago! We crammed 72 people in our house tonight. It was wonderful for him to be surrounded by so many people who love him. Thanks everyone for all the LOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE!!!!! :)

The girls also had a cute little mini dance recital tonight before Corey's big event. They did very well, all the little girls looked so cute up there on stage. Rob's mom brought Riley and Gabby flowers. They loved it!

Wii Love It!

2009-12-16T07:44:00.000-08:00

"Wii" got a VERY nice surprise in the mail about a week ago from Grandma and Grandpa Harris.

The kids were allowed to open it early so "wii" could all enjoy it over the break. Riley could not contain her excitement once it was opened!

(Doesn't Riley's hair look like a Pantene commercial?)

"Wii" all think it was a very generous and wonderful Christmas gift!

"Wii" THANK YOU!!!!!
("Wii" should have posted this a "wii"k ago but "wii" were having too much fun playing with the present "wii" received.)

First Tooth

2009-12-14T21:15:00.000-08:00

Another milestone reached...Gabby lost her first tooth. I know you're thinking, "but she's seven, shouldn't she have already lost some by now?" Well, my kids cut teeth late and lose teeth late. None of them had teeth before a year old. In fact Ryan only had four teeth at 18 months old and still has one baby tooth left now at 16. Gabby was terrified at first that it would hurt, but thrilled once she realized the tooth fairy would be paying her a visit. Plus her big brother Corey drove her to 7-Eleven and bought her a big gulp. That made all the tears disappear instantly!

Corey's Mission Call

2009-12-12T07:28:00.000-08:00

We want your guesses! His call has been sent and should arrive in a few days. Here is our list of Mission Call guesses by family and friends. PLEASE comment at the bottom of the post and I'll add you to the list. (To see a list of LDS Missions, click here.)

Immediate Family
Dad (Rob) - Spain
Mom (Michelle) - Austria or Ireland
Corey - Philadelphia or Atlanta
Tyler - Cairo, Egypt
Ryan - Australia
Riley - Africa/Australia/California/Germany
Gabby - (Pointed to South Africa on a map of the world.)

Extended Family
Great Grandma Foster - Mexico
Grandma Sherrie - New England States
Grandpa Johnson - Korea
Shawn Johnson - Zimbabwe
Jared Johnson - Hungary/China/Kansas
Jeffrey Johnson - Panama
Joshua Johnson - Chile
Stacey Johnson - Russia
Wesley Johnson - Norway
Holly Johnson - Portugal
Hannah LeGrand - Africa
Ali Johnson - Africa
Craig Hammer - Croatia
Marcia Hammer - Peru
Ashley Harrington - Hawaii
Taylor Harrington - Germany
Alan Ludlow - India
Renee Wagner - Brazil
Angela Verry - US East Coast
Erica Meyer - Greece
Rick Homer - Ditto Riley's guesses
Grandma Kitty - Atlanta or Mexico
Erin Evans - Brazil/Venezuela/Peru
John Evans - Mexico
Lisa Evans - Ecuador
Kahlin Lindholm- Canada/New Zealand
Destiny Evans- Denmark
John Evans IV - Chicago
Linda Harris - South America

Friends
Brian Garcia - Mexico City, Mexico
Rebecca Garcia - Omaha or North Dakota
Melissa Garcia - Africa
Tom Wilson - Mongolia
Jolynn Wilson - Germany
Braeden Wilson-Venice, Italy/Austria
Katelynn Wilson - France
Collin Wilson - Henderson (LOL)
Caroline Wilson - France
Marissa Mousseau - Spain
Brionne Mousseau- Canada
Sharyn Mousseau - Spokane, Washington
Mike Mousseau - Russia
Jimmy Skinner - Europe
Shannon Skinner - Mexico ;)
Jessica Skinner - Taiwan/Korea
Jeana Skinner - New Zealand/Australia
Jordyn Skinner - Hawaii
Tristin Crouch - Somewhere stateside
Jill Mennig - South Africa
Kim Mills - South Africa
Morgan Mills - Florida
Padilla Mills - Tennessee
Esther Mills - Texas
Britt Allen - Chile
Leah Allen - Peru
Morgan Allen - Paraguay/Tokyo South
Trey Pictum - Stockholm Sweden
Elder Pyle - Honduras
Robert Locklear - Greece
Elder Ferreira -Germany
Pres. Christensen - Colorado
Bishop Urry - Illinois,Chicago
Salle Young - Texas
Heather Deborski - England, London
Erin Parker - Midwest
Jerry Browner - Stateside, NE
Tonia Browner - Dominican Republic
Gary Shafer - Mongolia
Michele Shafer - Washington State
Tammy Nigro - Illinois
Wendy Brown - Spain/Brazil/Chile
Michael Blackwell - Portugal
Anna Rial - Japan
Danica Simbulan - Brazil
Gerald Pineda - Italy or Kansas
Karen Stevens - Australia
Chelsea Upshaw - Stateside
Lise-Lotte Newell - Brazil
Heather Bigler - Knoxville, Tennessee
Lanice Dietz - Tennessee/Virginia/Florida
Kenyon Crouch - West Virginia
Dawna Crouch - Japan
Richard Crouch - Minnesota
David Ploehn - Draper, UT
Jana Anderson - Australia
Whitney Plummer - Alabama
Kimmy Courtright - Brazil
Marylin Kelley - Salt Lake City ;)
Jason and Lindsay Mann - Argentina or Texas (Spanish speaking)
Emily Yates - Japan
Aubrey Robertson - Boise, Idaho
Hance Hardy - New York City
Cyndi Hardy - Hong Kong or California
Trevor Hardy - Minnesota/New Hampshire
Linda Eliason - Minnesota
Christopher Eliason - Bronx
Taylor Jacobson - Brazil
Tom Keele - Texas
Rhonda Keele - Chile
Caroline Keele - Utah
Fernando Duran-Price - Japan
Tyler Kizzar - Sydney, Australia
Chase Amos - West Virginia
Kaiden Shakespeare - Austria
Lisa Sykes - Spain

"Cord On Blue"

2009-12-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday on my way out the door to do a pinch of shopping, I asked Rob what he'd like for dinner. He said he didn't know and then he gave his standard answer when he's stumped for dinner ideas, "Cordon bleu."

I really almost never make cordon bleu, but it is mockingly requested frequently by my husband. Many moons ago, back when the boys were babies and the only things we ever had in the house in abundance were formula and diapers, Rob came home from work with the age old question, "What's for dinner."

In our stone broke condition, there was maybe a jar of peanut butter and a block of cheese (thank you WIC) in the house. I didn't have a clue what we were having for dinner! Rob actually asked me to just "whip something up"! I laugh now but back then I was furious. "Well, WHAT exactly should I whip up and from what, thin air?!" I'm sure, remembering the look on his face, that he couldn't understand why it would be hard to just make dinner. I impressed upon him again that there was nothing in the house with which to make a meal. He again suggested that it shouldn't be difficult to whip something up (ladies...he has since learned!) after all, he had just worked a long shift and was tired and hungry. So, calmly, a little too calmly actually as I remember being on the brink of psychosis, I asked him to suggest a recipe I could "whip up".

He said, "Cordon bleu."

I stared at him for a split second and sweetly replied, "Okay," and left the room.

I'm sure he thought I was insane but he'd gotten rid of me and I was dutifully, he thought, preparing his dinner.

Moments later I came back with...his supper. (Reenactment photo.)

Oh yes, an extension CORD ON a piece of BLUE construction paper. Rob burst out laughing and I satisfactorily proved that I could indeed whip up anything, but it may not be edible.

Last night we had a more palatable version of Cordon Bleu, a nice surprise for my dear hubby when he came home from a long shift of overtime. The look of awe on his face last night was as equally rewarding as the look on his face all those years ago, plus the kids got a kick out of hearing the story...again.

Your turn...share a standing joke from your family history.

Smile-Worthy

2009-11-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Things that make me happy lately: (totally not all inclusive and certainly not in any particular order.)

A double-sized mug of chamomile tea with sugar and heavy cream. Yum. Invokes feelings of being splendidly spoiled and perfectly relaxed.

A clean house. Okay, at this point in our busy lives with five kids, a single clean ROOM is enough to make me smile.

Good hair days. I mean actual good hair days, not the ones where I think it looks good and then catch a reflection later and discover it's really hideous. And so is my outfit...and skin.

Photo editing. Translation- cropping out the messy house and fixing the bad hair, skin and yes, sometimes cropping out the entire body from the neck down.

Silence. Self-explanatory.

A good book. I wish this was making me smile right now, I haven't read one in a LONG WHILE. (Sooo not like me, I know.)

Projects. Not only projects, but projects that turn out at least as good, if not better than how I've envisioned the final product.

Cute kid cuddles. Also self-explanatory.

My husband. Manly-man and teddy bear all-in-one. He makes me laugh when I shouldn't be able to. Mostly, I don't deserve how wonderful he is to me...especially on the days when he listens to me and get's me when I don't even get myself.

The thought of family visiting for the holidays. My brother and two adorable nephews get to come (hopefully) for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas. Very smile-worthy.

Totally free sheet music I can print from the internet. Ah, I even found some Clint Mansell stuff.

Squeak-free brakes. The hubby just changed them this week. And we didn't need to replace the rotors. Yes!

My current church calling. I'm loving it.

Gardenia scented Salt City candles. In a word: heavenly.

My new nephew's impending arrival...hopefully TODAY! Rob's brother's wife, Lisa, is currently in labor with John Edward Evans IV. They've nicknamed him "Four". Can't wait to kiss his little baby cheeks!

What makes you smile?

Honor Them

2009-11-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

Beauty Is

2009-10-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

...holding Gabby's hand

...soaking in the sunshine

...laughing at silly jokes

...recognizing blessings

...listening

...making discoveries

...sifting memories

...being as excited as she is as she learns how to read

...surviving bad days

...the smell of autumn

...the blue of her eyes

...releasing fear

...memorizing moments

...being her mother

...gratitude.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." ~Kahlil Gibran

Predictions From 1991

2009-06-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

Corey graduated high school this afternoon. We are so proud of him and the young man he has grown to be. I'll share more pictures later in the week but for now I wanted to post this old journal entry from Tuesday June 11, 1991 at 1:22pm. Corey was four months old at the time.

Corey — Right now I'm sitting here watching you roll over!!! Since I got my new job I haven't had much spare time - not to mention still trying to get everything moved into our new apartment (we did it, yay)! You are getting to be such a big boy and I miss you so much when I have to work. It's so hard for me to be away from you for that whole eight endless hours. Boy do you need a haircut! (Again.) Your hair grows so fast! I was just thinking about how you are already growing so fast — pretty soon you'll be graduating from high school and before I know it, married with a family of your own. I know it sounds unrealistic now but, time goes by so fast and as you get older it seems to slip through your fingers so easily. I like coming home and laying down beside you and staring at you. You are so precious to me, my little one. I love you—don't ever forget that! Love always, Your Mommy

I seriously cannot believe how fast it has gone by. It did slip right through our fingers. But we have beautiful memories to hang on to and millions more to make. What a wonderful son we have! He's still my precious little one.

Balancing Act

2009-05-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

The acquisition of balance seems curiously difficult. How can we discover our potential and play the roles we've been cast in when every scene seems to involve a formidable balancing act?

Balance between being a woman who is tender, delicate, and sweet while also being unbreakable, courageous and strong.

Balance between showing emotion when you hurt and not being emotional.

Balance between the conflicting messages of "Work hard, don't be lazy or idle," and "Take time for yourself and relax once in awhile."

Balance between being clean and organized without turning into a tyrannical overachieving Nazi maniac Mom.

Balance between living in the world and in relation to those who revel in it's ways, but resisting the influences of the world, being good and holy.

Balance between being a good friend and listener without being an enabler.

Balance between letting your kids exercise agency without letting them fall flat on their faces.

Balance between being able to forgive others without giving them license to walk all over you and repeatedly abuse your trust.

Balance between firmly take a stand when your conscience tells you that you must, and being courteous of the opinions that others have.

Balance between taking care of everyone else, and taking care of yourself.

Balance between being a toilet scrubbing, diaper changing, dish washing, laundry folding housewife, and being a hot goddess, put together, (showered) happy wife when that hard working hubby of yours walks through the door at night.

Balance between spoiling yourself or your family once in awhile, (especially when they are deserving) and being moderate and economical.

Balance between being able to enjoy your life as a whole, and sometimes barely just getting through today.

Balance between being "the mom" ─ you know, the disciplinarian, the teacher, the overseer, the manager, and being "the mommy" ─ the story teller, the praiser, the cuddler, the hero.

Balance between being chic, polished and gourmet, and being a good steward who is thrifty and can maximize that dollar store budget.

Balance between slowing down because we're moving so fast that every day speeds by in a blur, and not being stagnant and unproductive.

Balance between being humorous and whimsical without being tactless and irreverent.

Balance between handing our problems and worries over to God, and getting off of our knees and going to work to find solutions and answers.

Balance between being strong enough to lift our heavy burdens and being humble enough to ask the Lord to help us carry them.

Are you finding it hard to maintain balance? In what ways or areas?

Precious

2009-05-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

"Every child begins the world again."
~Henry David Thoreau

(My sweet niece Berlynn, 4 weeks old.)

Corey's Senior Portraits

2009-05-14T22:48:00.001-07:00

I had been putting off taking pictures of Corey for so long I was wondering if I was ever going to get them done. I grabbed my camera and drug Corey out for a quick photo session tonight and came back with several great shots. It helps to be shooting such a handsome young man.

Maybe now I can get those graduation announcements in the mail...

Delightful Mermaids

2009-05-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

"Everything in creation has its appointed painter or poet and remains in bondage like the princess in the fairy tale 'til its appropriate liberator comes to set it free." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson