Dear...

Dear refrigerator,
Would you please produce something amazing when I open your door?

Dear Summer,
Go away.
(PS - Dear Willis Carrier,
Thank you for air conditioning.)

Dear Bank Account,
Fatten up!

Dear (somebody I must leave unnamed),
Stop being crazy.

Dear Truck Engine,
Why, oh why did you have to die? Don't you know how much I adore you?

Dear Lynn Austin,
Thank you for your simply beautiful, elegant novels. I am devouring them.

Dear Roadshow,
I can't stinkin' wait!

And finally...

Dear Uterus,
Knock it off!
(You too Joint Pain!)