Well

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

To clarify, I mean that title "Well" as in well COMMA...DRAMATIC PAUSE followed by a barrage of complaints and criticisms of all medical practitioners in addition to tirades about incompetence and idiocy.

I do not mean the "Well" as in: I'm well.

Sigh. I am so not well today. I'd see a doctor in regards to my mental health but they'd probably screw that up too.

If you thought for one second that you could trust your doctor to care for your health without taking some responsibility for yourself then you are sadly mistaken.

Or living under a rock.

Or both.

(Are rocks cheap? Is that why soooo many people obviously, or obliviously, live under them???)

In the last year I have had approximately 25 pancreatitis attacks. Apparently the prednisone tears up my stomach. I would blame the prednisone wholly but I had 2 of them before I ever started the drug. When I spoke to my rheumatologist, *Dr. T.D. Handsome, (What? I can name him whatever I want!) about this little supposed side effect he said to go to my primary care physician, *Dr. Overworked, about it.

I did.

Dr. Overworked said it was just indigestion.

I pleaded, and even shed tears as I had just had three days of pain and an intense four hour attack the night before my appointment and told him I was SURE it was not indigestion. Indigestion does not feel like your stomach is full of bricks and there's a huge drill bit boring into your abdomen and radiating unrelenting pain through your whole middle, back, and shoulder blades with pain so bad you're too sick to go to the hospital. Pain so bad there is no way to get comfortable. Pain so bad you wish you could command yourself to DIE. Pain so bad it's worse than natural labor. Pain soooo intense I would not wish it on my worst enemies, or my in-laws. (It's a joke, come on!) ;)

No, this was not indigestion...but what did Dr. Overworked say or do after I described this agony? Well, he told me it must be that my prednisone has me all panicked and you know it can cause depression and anxiety.

My cue to shut. up.

He prescribed some crap drug (that made me swell up so badly, so quickly, I had to have my WEDDING RINGS CUT OFF!) and sent me on my way.

I failed to mention Dr. Overworked is a very kind man, he really is, but I was frustrated that he didn't LISTEN. He could have at least sent me over to the lab since a simple blood test would show if my pancreas was out of whack. He actually had me believing that maybe I was being too sensitive because of the prednisone.

So...next time I go to Dr. T.D. Handsome do I mention that Dr. Overworked did nothing and I am still having the attacks? Nope. WHY? Because I knew it wouldn't make a difference, plus he is handsome and that was probably unnerving.

So, finally as I'm off my prednisone and going back for follow up CT scans I get brave enough to ask once more if we can just "take a look" at my pancreas because I'm still having problems. Dr. T.D. Handsome agrees and I, shocked, and thrilled that maybe I've finally proven that I'm not just a hypochondriac and that if I complain that it's because there is a real problem, leave his office elated that I will finally be getting somewhere!!!

I have the test and I check two days later (after another night of what feels like an attack coming on again) to see if by some chance my results are online.

They are.

And as it turns out, there is GREAT news. My fear that my sarcoidosis was causing my pancreas problems was put to rest and instead it turns out my disease appears to actually be in remission, the goal of the prednisone all along, BUT the pancreatitis is being caused by a "large gallstone". WHICH Dr. Overworked COULD have found if he would have listened to me last July when I assured him I knew the difference between AGONY and indigestion!

Awesome.

Supposing Dr. T.D. Handsome would want me to see Dr. Overworked, I scheduled an appointment for a lab followup visit for tomorrow. AND I would have not been going on and on through this tirade IF I hadn't just received a letter about my lab results from Dr. T.D. Handsome which reads, and I quote:

"CT scan shows improvement of previously identified sarcoid lesions."

PERIOD.

Nothing about the large gallstone that was on my CT results.

The gallstone that has obviously been wreaking havoc in my abdomen.

The gallstone that is currently LAUGHING AND MOCKING ME because of my incompetent, albeit handsome and overworked doctors.

If I hadn't been complaining about pain I could see why they'd, perhaps, not mention it, but since we had to justify an abdomen CT scan in addition to my chest CT scan followup by saying I have a history of pancreatitis, you'd think he would want to share those results with me.

SO NOW I have to go back to Dr. Overworked tomorrow, the one who thinks it was indigestion, and try my very best to not STRANGLE him over my irritation with him AND my handsome rheumatologist. I realize my anger or rudeness won't get this gallstone taken care of but it would feel so good to punch a hole in his wall and be forced into anger management classes. Maybe then they'd take me seriously. (Kidding.) (Sort of.)

I like both of my doctors, a lot, and I'm sure they deal with whiny people all day who just want prescription drugs, and they are entirely too overworked and unable to get to know their patients individually, but seriously...I would not have had to go through all this pain if either of them would not have ignored me initially.

Moral of the story, er, barrage: Ask a million questions. Don't take "no" for an answer. Check your lab and test results online whenever possible. And don't ignore symptoms, especially if you are in severe pain, just because you are tired of nobody listening. Somebody will have to listen if you are unrelenting. But finally, YOU know your body better than anyone so listen to it!

Hmmm, did I mention tomorrow might not go so well because I am insistent that I do NOT want to have surgery??? (For various reasons including a previous stroke and allergy to pain medications and also I'd have to go back on my prednisone because of the stress it would cause my body.)

Wish me luck!